Saturday, December 31, 2016

Three Magic Words: It Is Done

Happy New Year's Eve, positive peeps! I was hoping to do another video blog post before 2017 officially began, but got sidetracked this week by a truly nasty cold or flu virus...actually, my mother and I came down with it at the same time and have been coughing up a storm the past couple of days, but thankfully it now appears that it's on its way out. So, a written post for now will have to do. 

Initially I was going to post about my year in review of sorts and the intentions I have for the new one, but instead I'm going to talk about a manifestation success story I had this week (and besides, my main general intention for 2017 is that I'v decided it's simply going to be awesome and so much better in many ways than 2016.)

A few weeks ago I was watching a YouTube video of a guy I've been following who talks about the law of attraction and how it relates to his daily life. He talked about a phrase he recently starting implementing when manifesting: it is done. Three simple words, but very powerful when you declare them and put your complete faith in them. How is that they're powerful? Well, I've been seeing a lot lately about the importance of putting your manifestation into your past and pretending that it's already happened, a done deal, instead of thinking it's a future event. Remember, a lot of why we attract things is because we're acting as if they're already here. It helps us carry around that feeling that we have it already...and feelings help things manifest!

I also like to think of saying "it is done" as commanding the Universe with, "You've got my back; you're helping me with this." There's actually a book by Richard Dotts called "It Is Done!: The Final Step To Instant Manifestation." I haven't read it yet, but Dotts explores why we say "amen" at the end of a prayer and how "it is done" is its equivalent using more every day language. 

So earlier this week, I had the opportunity to put the words into practice. Our kitchen sink backed up...the day after Christmas; the same day we both started coming down with the bug. We went to our local Ace hardware store, and the guy recommended this really strong (and frankly, kind of scary) clog busting acid product we've used before. I followed the directions, pouring the correct amount down the drain and flushed it after the allotted time with cold water...but the sink immediately began backing up again. We waited for it to slowly drain, and then my mother decided to give it a second treatment. Again, the water immediately backed up. 

She was getting upset, as she just got hit with the quarterly property tax bill from the town and also had to get her car repaired a few days before Christmas. Even though I offered to pay for the plumbing bill, the last thing she wanted to do was call a plumber. She then referred to our home as a s***house, when I gently reminded her that by saying that, the Universe was listening and giving us just that! Don't forget, I told her -- Patti (my friend that came for Christmas) said our house was beautiful.

Anyways, the dishes that night mostly once again went into the dishwasher and the sink was still backing up. That was when I remembered the three words "it is done" and said, "The pipes are unclogged and clear. It is done!" and then forgot about it. 

The next morning, while I was alone in the kitchen, I remembered the sink and decided to tentatively turn the water on. No clog; the water was going down and running for quite a while before I shut it off! I kept checking to make sure it wasn't coming up to the surface of the sink but nope, it kept draining and I could hear it whoosh down the pipe. I told my mother. She tested it by doing the dishes in the sink and dumping the water. No problems. 

Now granted, we used a really heavy strength drain cleaner and applied it -- twice. However, I know from using it in the bathroom that it doesn't always do the job -- and on the night, it appeared that it wasn't working. I asked for extra help so we could save our money, and declared the unclogged pipe a done deal. 

The way I look at it, you've got nothing to use by saying these three simple words. Happy manifesting and Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

It's All About Perspective

On Christmas Day my friend Patti stopped by our house later in the afternoon as some family members were leaving. Patti's family lives out of state and as she went to visit them over Thanksgiving weekend, she had decided to spend Christmas here. At my mother's urging, I told her she was welcome to spend the day with us which she appreciated, so after visiting another friend's house earlier in the day she swung by.

Patti and I have been friends for several months now but there were still some things about her family and upbringing that I didn't know about; I knew she was from Western Pennsylvania and grew up near Punxsutawney, where the infamous groundhog festival is held every year. What I didn't know is that her late father worked in the nearby coal mines for most of his life and that her nephew has the same job. 

She brought my mother a beautiful holiday-themed bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine, and one thing she commented on more than once was the size of our house and how beautiful it was.

Now, my mother and I live in a four-bedroom split level that my parents actually built using home plans from Better Homes and Gardens in the late '50s/early '60s. So I guess you could say it's a mid-century modern home, even though it's not decorated that way throughout most of it and isn't quite as Mad Men-esque as other houses built during the same period. It also needs a lot of work which thankfully goes unseen -- I wouldn't be surprised if some day, when my siblings and I have to put it on the market, that it must be listed in "as in" condition. 

And while my mother and I consider it to be a decent-sized home and she did raise my siblings and me comfortably under its roof, it's definitely not as big as most of the houses in my town. Not even close. And there are many days when my mother laments about something going wrong or that needs repairs. 

However, to my friend was a palace. 

You see, sometimes it's all about perspective, and perspective can help us feel more grateful and appreciative when we think we don't have things so great and may be lacking in our lives. I've lived in the house my whole life and sometimes take it, and our neighborhood, for granted. My mother wants nothing more than to win the lottery and either fix it up properly or move out of it. But to someone that grew up in a more working class area, our house is something really special. 

I also really admire Patti's resilience; she moved to my state because she was with a coast guard guy at the time, and that didn't work out. Last year she ended a 9-year marriage because her husband was an alcoholic. But she has to be the least bitter person I've ever known. She tried online dating earlier this year and didn't have any luck with it, but says she is still optimistic that there is someone that exists for her. 

It kind of reminds me of a well-known saying by Dr. Wayne Dyer: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." It's a good lesson to be reminded of, especially when we don't think we somehow have enough. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

How to Stay Positive During the Holidays

Today's video blog post is just some perspective on how to stay positive during a time of year that gets many of us down. I think part of the reason some people feel this way is because the holidays signify the end of a year which causes many of us to reflect on what we may have accomplished (or lost) during the past 12 months. 

Then we start comparing ourselves to other people and feel all of this pressure to have a great holiday where everything is perfect. Well, it's time to cut yourself some slack because trust me, no family is perfect! And there's nothing special about December 25th or any other day -- it's been hyped to be perceived that way through the years.

This will be my last post on "PP" before to all of my readers, happy holidays! I hope you all find things to be appreciative about this season.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

New Video Post: The Power Of Make Believe When Manifesting

Before I get into this post, let me just say YouTube has a knack for picking screen captures to choose from for your video's thumbnail at your worst moments during your filming; mouth open, eyes closed, goofy expression, hands in the air, etc. I keep forgetting to take a photo of myself to upload as a custom thumbnail when posting these videos; after today's terrible choices I don't think I'll forget again!

Anyways, today's video post is about something I was reminded of this past weekend when it comes to manifesting: the power of make believe. When we were kids we were all quite adept at it, but as you get older the whole notion of pretending and playing make believe seems silly. However, that's exactly what we should be doing when we want to become a vibrational match to what we want to manifest in our life. 

Some of these make believe ideas may include buying a dress in a smaller size if you're wanting to lose weight and imagining how you would feel wearing the dress now, and carrying that feeling with you throughout the day, or setting your alarm and waking up at the same earlier time each morning if you're seeking a job. Or for those looking to manifest a relationship, I give some practices I've been implementing in the video below, but some other suggestions may include buying a Valentine's Day, holiday, or birthday card for your girlfriend or boyfriend -- never mind that they're not in your physical reality yet -- or researching B&Bs or resorts online and pretending that your loved one has asked you to show him or her some selections as ideas for a romantic weekend getaway. 

When we do this, we're activating the feelings of "as if" and that what wish want is currently a reality. And that's the ultimate feeling we're striving for, since law of attraction will bring us people and experiences that match that vibration. 

So without further ado, here's my video where I talk a little bit about this really important and fun manifesting tool. Enjoy!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

The Easy Come, Easy Go Friendship

Last week a woman I had been friends with for about 6 or 7 months decided rather abruptly that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Before I get into this post, let me say that there was no real fight to speak of and no drama; more that she did something that hurt my feelings but refused to see that she had done anything wrong, and didn't apologize for her behavior. When I wrote back and said I was hurt, listed the times I'd been a friend to her, and then added that her action didn't fit my definition of friendship, she responded back with one word (phrase, really): "OK." And then she removed me from Facebook. She wasn't even willing to discuss the disagreement. So I removed her from my Meetup group.

It all happened REALLY fast and once it did, I felt this relief. For the past month or two, virtually everything she did or said was not jiving with my idea of a fulfilling friendship. I met her and another mutual friend at one of my Meetup events late in the winter of this year, and the three of us hit it off. She told the both of us over email that she loved the open communication and honesty in our friendship. But lately she'd been acting a little strange, and then she got downright controlling and manipulative. I found out from the mutual friend (that I'm pretty sure is no longer going to hang out with her) that she'd been acting this way towards her as well -- moreso than what I experienced. This past weekend I met up with the mutual friend for dinner and drinks and she said our former friend sent her an angry text after one of our dinner outings in the fall, saying that she really wanted to hang out and have drinks and that she couldn't believe she was home on a Saturday night at 9 PM. The behavior was baffling to us as she never mentioned ever that she wanted to hang out after the meal and drink (my other friend and I are not drinkers and in fact, she likes to make it an early night on the weekends because she works out early on Sunday mornings.)

Long story short, after it ended I realized she was a lot like my boss at my last job; no matter what you said or did, she couldn't be pleased, and always wanted to have her own way. I was also getting the vibes from her lately that she was a really unhappy person (despite telling me that she was into positivity and the law of attraction when I first met her, which is why we seemed to hit it off in the first place.) My other friend said they went to a Meetup event together where the first thing out of her mouth to the group was, "I'm so-and-so...and I hate my job." Then she proceeded to talk about it for 10 minutes. Not exactly the best way to make a good first impression. 

She also publicly told a Facebook page she ran that she received "virtually no support from friends" when her dog recently needed surgery (for a non life-threatening injury.) I felt like the remark was directed at me, which was baffling as she and our mutual friend emailed her and asked about her dog several times. But I kept my mouth shut about it. She then told her Facebook group (which I was a part of) that if people weren't going to participate and post on a regular basis that she was going to shut the page down. So I DID post to her page to be nice -- twice, as a mater of fact -- and two weeks later she removed me from the group. That's what started the email correspondence last week that led to her unfriending me (LOL.)

Sometimes we meet people, all seems great, and then in a few months they start showing us the red flags that hint at their true colors. And, just like those two almost manifestations I talked about in my first video, if something isn't a good match for you and your conviction about what you do want is strong enough, chances are you're going to repel them right out of your life, which I believe is what happened here. 

I wasn't even upset about it -- easy come, easy go. I had a hunch recently that things weren't going to work out with her. With so many other friendships that are wonderful and new ones to be made, I believe in abundance and attracting those people that are a good match for my vibration. 

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

How To Completely Let Go Of Someone Or Something And Move On

Hi, all -- do you have a bad habit of stalking/snooping on someone after they're no longer a part of your life? I struggled with this myself until recently and there's nothing like stopping it for good to allow yourself to move forward and release those old energy binds. That's what today's video post is about. Enjoy. 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

How to Feel Grateful...When You Just Can't

I hope all of you had a nice Thanksgiving! The past few days I've been watching videos about the power of gratitude. I didn't seek them out, but they were recommended to me on YouTube, and it was just a coincidence that I happened to view them a few days before Thanksgiving.

Everything I read and watch on the subject stresses the importance of having an "attitude of gratitude." I even watched one video by a doctor and author that claims his team has measured the energy emitted from a human body when that person is in a state of gratitude and how this helps magnetize more positive experiences to us. But what if, no matter how hard you try, you just can't muster up the feelings of being grateful? I've been there myself -- sometimes, if you're down or if something is bothering you, you may be so absorbed in your sadness that you just don't feel like trying. 

That's when it may be helpful to remind yourself of this: someone always has it worse than you.

I don't mean to sounds negative or to evoke feelings of schadenfreude by someone else's misery. I'm saying sometimes it helps to put things into perspective. 

For example, my mother was feeling a little down this Thanksgiving. She has some health issues and has a hard time walking up the stairs, and walking in general. 

However, my niece informed us today that her other grandmother has COPD from decades of smoking, diabetes, and other health problems that are far worse than my mother's. 

It's not that anyone enjoys hearing about someone else's problems, but sometimes it does make us realize how lucky we are to have what we have compared to other people. 

I may not quite be living the life I want to -- yet. I want to have my own home and my own life being married to someone wonderful. I never expected to be pushing my mid-40s and still living with my mother. I'm still a little unsure sometimes about the future of my job situation and what I truly want to be doing the rest of my life. 

But it could be worse. I could have health problems, or I could be in debt. Luckily and thankfully, I'm healthy and I have zero debt other than the recurring charges to my credit card each month for my Sirius and Photoshop subscriptions. 

I remember I blogged on here last Thanksgiving. I was not in a good place that day. We didn't have anyone over for family because they all had their own plans and I was still hurting from things that happened in 2015. I wasn't in a place where I was thinking in terms of abundance on a consistent basis. 

This Thanksgiving was different and a lot more positive. I'm grateful that we did get to see some family this year, and that we had a great time. And even though I haven't manifested the right guy and right job yet, I'm feeling a lot more positive about both areas of my life. 

And yes, someone does have it worse. Someone may actually be in a relationship, but not very happy with it and their partner. Someone could have a job but it's the wrong job and a very stressful one. There are a lot of people that struggle with the holiday season from losing a loved one or dealing with an illness. Knock on wood we're still doing quite well. 

It does indeed help me feel gratitude and works on those days where I have struggled. 

Here's hoping all of you had plenty to be thankful about on the holiday, and every day!

Sunday, November 20, 2016

God Never Says No

I'm sure some of you are reading that title of this blog post and thinking right now, "Pam, what are you talking about? God never says 'no'? Really? Then how come none of my prayers ever seem to get answered?!? He's said 'no' to me many times; if only I had a buck for every time I've heard 'no', I'd have that money I've been asking from him for so long!"

I get it, because I used to feel the same way. I used to think we had to beg and plead God for things...and of course, I'd end up bitterly disappointed, hurt, confused, and angry when I didn't get them.

But the statement that He (or source, or the Universe, or whatever you want to call it/him/her) never says no is absolutely true. I'm going to explain why. And as it turns out, this fits in perfectly with the law of attraction.

I learned that God never says no by a man named Neale Donald Walsch. He's an author that wrote a series of books called Conversations With God. I haven't read any of them yet, but I'm familiar with what they're about. Basically, about a good 25 years ago Walsch was sort of thinking out loud, asking God questions, and he said something was providing the answers that caused him to handwrite them out for weeks on end. The result was his book series where he believes God answered many questions for him about life and how to create the one that we want.

Sometime last year I came across a video clip of Walsch speaking to an audience about the God never says no concept. He explained it in a flip way: God never says no, which means he only says yes. And whatever you say, think, and believe and put out there to the Universe, God says yes to and that's what you attract.

As Walsch says in the clip, if you go around saying, "I want more money!" God agrees with you and says, "Yes, you do. That's true. You want more money." And that's what you attract...the continued wanting of more money, but not actually getting it.

So it makes sense to speak only of what you want, as if you actually already have it. "I have plenty of money. Money comes to me easily and effortlessly. " And God says yes, that's true.

There's no begging, no pleading, and no getting down on your knees to pray. I stopped "praying" that way years ago.

Here's that clip of Walsch explaining this concept and how it works. I find it fascinating and hope it clarifies in manifesting. Be sure to pay attention as well to his last statement before the clip ends, about disregarding appearances. If anyone out there knows if this whole presentation is available online in its entirety, please let me know; I'd love to be able to view the whole thing. 

Monday, November 14, 2016

Do Good Luck Charms Really Work?

Hi all -- as noted, here's a new video blog post up on what I think about good luck charms and if they actually work (I believe they do, but not in the typical way people probably think.) One quick correction to this video -- I said it had been two weeks since I first began submitting a weekly claim for unemployment but it had actually been two months.

Have a great Monday, and enjoy!

Saturday, November 12, 2016

What To Do If You're Feeling Negative About the Election Results

Well, the people have spoken. We have a new American president. About half the country is elated, and the other half is despondent and pissed off. 

Remember how in my last post, last weekend, I said people needed to focus on their own candidate and what they wanted? Well, when I saw all of the numerous Trump postings on Facebook for the past 18 months or so, I had a feeling early on that he had a good chance at running away with this.

Facebook has officially turned into a train wreck during the past week. There's an awful lot of angry, upset, and downright sad voters right now that supported Hillary Clinton. I thought maybe I'd try to put some things into perspective using what I've learned with the law of attraction. 

First of all, if you are an unhappy voter I highly advise not taking your wrath to the streets like so many protestors are doing right now. I really do not think getting angry and violent, especially towards other people and those that voted for Trump, is the answer. Remember, law of attraction teaches that what we focuses on expands. Focusing on anger, and focusing on a feeling that you've somehow been duped (and you weren't; it's called democracy) by the system in some way, is just going to continue to bring feelings of anger.

But there's another little LOA rule that I've read and heard about many times, and that's what you resists, persists. And we have an awful lot of resistance out there to Trump being the President-elect. There are people that want the vote revoked. 

That's just not going to happen, and it shouldn't. We've had a democratically-decided presidential election for two centuries now. Trump is our new president. He won, whether people are happy with it or not. The sooner the anti-Trump people accept that, the sooner they can begin to move forward. 

I would suggest to people that are upset that instead of calling the other side nasty names and doing something embarrassing in public they might live to regret, that they instead channel the energy into something positive, perhaps by getting involved with their political party and focusing on who could possibly run four years from now. Or, if you're concerned about preserving gay rights, abortion, or any other cause that you fear Trump is going to take away, get involved with a local organization. Remember, you want to focus on what you do want. 

And if you're worried about what a Trump presidency is going to look like (I've heard everything on Facebook from "He's going to deport ALL immigrants, not just the illegal ones," and "He's going to bad gay marriage") let me say this: no one can predict the future. Considering that the media certainly couldn't predict the outcome of this election, no one can predict exactly what the next four years are going to bring. One of the biggest things I've learned from LOA teachings is not to worry about anything anymore, unless something actually happens. I just don't. The past is gone and no one can predict what the future can bring. We can only focus on the present. 

I also think removing yourself from social media and any sources of your anger and doing something stress relieving or fun works wonders. Go for a walk, play with a pet, read a book, etc. 

Lastly (and I know this is difficult for a lot of people) I'd send good thoughts to the new incoming administration. Ask the Universe to guide them into making the right decisions for the good of the country and all American citizens that can benefit all of us. 

I had a good money week last week -- so in my next video post, I'm going to be talking about good luck charms and if they really bring good luck! Enjoy the rest of the weekend. 

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Why You're Still For Something Even If You're Against It

Hey positive people! As Election Day is now just a few days away, I think it's important to talk a bit about something in regards to the election and the law of attraction, especially after seeing way too much arguing on Facebook. 

And that is, did you know that when you're technically "against" something, that you're actually feeding energy into it and attracting more of it into your existence? This is why Dr. Wayne Dyer and the book The Secret pointed out that instead of being "anti-war", you should be focusing on instead being "pro peace." Because as long as you're saying and focusing on the word war, you're going to draw more examples of seeing war in your daily life.

So let's take the election. I know a lot of people are extremely upset that Donald Trump is the Republican candidate and he's close in the polls to Hillary Clinton and they're all asking themselves how this could have happened. Well, the answer is clear to me when I've been seeing so many posts abut Trump in my personal feed on Facebook ever since the presidential race all started. Mind you, I'm an independent that is connected to a majority of Democrats, so most of what I'm seeing is "anti Trump." But the very fact that they're focusing on Trump -- whether they want him to be President or not -- is helping to feed into the energy of him and his campaign and they're just going to see more news about Trump showing up online.

They'd be a lot better off if they would instead focus their attention on who they want to see as President instead. 

That's how the law of attraction works. Remember,  the law of attraction doesn't care if what you're vibrating is wanted or unwanted to you. It responds to your you may want to make sure you're focusing on what you want, and filter out anything else. 

And I think it may do a lot of people some good to stay off of social media altogether until the election is done and dusted. 

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

New Video Blog Post: How I Manifested the Safe Return Of My Cat

Wow, two videos in one week...but this one was kind of a biggie that I needed to get out of my system. A couple of things I forgot to mention while filming this video: first, I think it really helped that I made the conscious decision to be as happy as I could every day while my cat was outside. The Abraham Hicks teachings stress the importance of have to be happy now, despite any circumstances or at least as happy as is possible for you.

Second, when something like this successfully manifests, it really is a huge boost to your faith in the LOA and the power of the Universe. I really feel now like anything is possible. You just have to believe. 

I am just learning video editing software and cut off the ending a few seconds too soon, but you didn't miss anything other than me inviting you to leave a comment or question if you so desire. Enjoy! 

Monday, October 31, 2016

New Video Blog Post: My Law of Attraction Horror Story!

Happy Halloween, PP readers! In today's video I talk about a law of attraction "horror" story just in time for today's holiday. I forgot to mention in this video that it does not matter whether something is unwanted or wanted; if you say, declare, and believe things then the Universe is going to give them to you, whether you wanted it or not! That's why you need to be aware of what you're putting out there.

Another way of looking at it is that God/the Universe/Source/etc. never says no, only yes. So if you're saying and believing, "I have no money. I need more money", God says YES to that and that's exactly what you attract; no money and the needing of more money. See how that works? I learned that from a man named Neale Donald Walsch, the author of "Conversations With God." I'll write or speak more about this in a future post but for now, enjoy my story...and don't let anything unwanted happen to you!

Disclaimer...I have nothing against mustaches or big noses...but with the guy I describe in the video, it was the whole package including his unsettling behavior that made him really unattractive to me!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Update: I Manifested the Safe Return Of My Cat!

I have some happy news to share...a few months ago, I blogged about how one of my cats escaped the house and how, because she was still feral, we weren't so sure at first that she would ever successfully return. It took two months, but last night we managed to secure her back into the house, safe and sound. She's now in the warm sewing room that's attached to the porch. She's not out of the woods yet -- she's still pretty frightened and needs to get acclimated  to her surroundings again but she did let me pat her last night and yesterday and today she licked my fingers and was purring. 

I would like to do a video blog post soon on how I believe I used the law of attraction to attract her back to the house, and how inspired action is what enabled us to get her back in, not the Havahart trap that we had little success with. It almost seems like a miracle by this point -- just the night before we got her back, a coyote was in our back yard. 

I'm feeling very grateful to the Universe and absolutely relieved! That's her in the picture above (albeit not a recent photo, as she's still in hide mode...but I have no doubt she'll be back to snoozing in her favorite spots around the house in no time.)

Monday, October 24, 2016

How To See Proof of Abundance In the Universe

A new week, a new video up -- this time about how we can see more abundance in the Universe and apply that to dispel any negative beliefs we may have about lackful thinking in any area of our lives. If you've thought, like me, that there's a limited amount of resources and that it's every man or woman for themselves, then you want to watch this -- enjoy! Sorry for the glare from the sunlight rays. (And geez...these thumbnails that YouTube chooses for uploaded videos are kind of dreadful...I have to remember to snap a photo of myself smiling before each filming to use for the custom thumbnail!)

One small gaffe...I realized after making the video that it was actually a Dodge Charger used in the movie Bullitt, not a Challenger...but the car I speak of was definitely a Challenger. 

Monday, October 17, 2016

New Video Blog: The Importance of Self Love

Hi everyone -- another week, another new video up. This time I'm talking a bit about self-love, why it's important, and how I recently found my own breakthrough to the completeness of it about a month ago. So I'll just let myself take it away here...

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

How to Turn Around Negative Thoughts and Deal With Setbacks

Hi, everyone -- another video post up! This time I'm talking a bit about how to turn around negative thoughts when having an off day and dealing with what seem to be setbacks in life. I hope this helps this person that left a comment on my first video a few weeks ago, and anyone else experiencing this.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Can You Manifest a Lottery or Gambling Win Using the Law of Attraction?

Hi everyone -- new video blog post up, this time discussing about whether it's possible to manifest money via a lottery or gambling win and my own personal experience with this. Enjoy!

Monday, October 3, 2016

My Favorite Affirmation

Hi, everyone! Hope you all had a nice weekend. Today is a high vibin' day for me for no particular reason other than it's a beautiful, sunny New England autumn day, I went for a long walk, and have been getting a ton of work done for my freelance jobs. I'm also feeling inspired after my video post, especially after the positive feedback I received, and have some ideas for more video clips once I get a tripod, hopefully this week! In the meantime I wanted to write a quick post about a positive affirmation that has become my favorite during the past year or so. And here it is:

Things are always working out for me. 

I believe I blogged about it sometime last year, but it bears a reminder. Because one thing I failed to mention in the video post I did last week is that I was repeating this affirmation to myself for just a couple of weeks before those two "almost manifestations" that I talked about quickly and quietly exited stage left. With my job, I had even written the statement down on a yellow post-it note and attached it to the inside of my office notebook as a reminder that everything was working out for my greater good and happiness. 

Now, one of my oldest sisters said at the time (when things ended with the married guy) but are things really working out for you? I told her yes, because the Universe knows I want a guy that's available and thus this had to get moved out of the way for someone better and more suitable to come along. You see, most people expect that when we say this affirmation that we're going to get or keep something, but I've found out twice now that it isn't always the case. However, I do believe the "loss" of both of these almost manifestations just means they went so that something bigger and better is going to replace the both of them. And I do believe by saying and writing down this affirmation that the Universe has started to put things in motion for me. 

I also didn't mention this in the video (but did in a blog post when it happened), but this most recent layoff was the fifth time it's happened to me. Four of the five jobs were in marketing. Do I think the Universe has been trying to send me a message after all of these years? I do. After five times, I finally got the message. It's time to venture into something different. And it's probably going to involve writing, and perhaps some form of journalism. 

When I say this affirmation, I feel that the Universe has my back, that things are moving in the right direction in my life, and that I don't have to worry about doing a darned thing unless I feel inspired to do so. 

By the way, I learned about the affirmation last year by watching Abraham-Hicks videos. It's a pretty common reassurance and theme that they remind attendees about. Let me know if you've had any interesting experiences as a result of the affirmation. 

Have a high vibin' day, and I'll "talk" to everyone again soon!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

What Is An Almost Manifestation?

I'm trying something different today -- I filmed and uploaded my first video blog post! Please forgive the shakiness and poor picture quality -- I have an older smartphone and need a tripod or a selfie stick for the future (and may just splurge on a nice digital recorder one of these days...or maybe I can manifest one!) Anyways, my camerawoman work may need some polishing but I hope this video proves useful for those of us that have the experience of manifesting something that is almost quite right, but then falls apart. Enjoy!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

How To Manifest Money Using the Law Of Attraction

Money! To quote an old song that I love, "It's what I want" and it's also what most people want when they first learn about the law of attraction. Most of us want more of the green stuff. But exactly how do we go about getting it?

I've mentioned on here before the success I've had with attracting money -- I even attracted an extra $1,000 once in my paycheck that I tried to return, but the Universe wouldn't take it back!

I'm going to outline some tips that have worked for me, but in general I'd say the main reason I believe I manifest extra money on a fairly consistent basis is because I have virtually no resistance to it and I never think about how it's going to come. I also have no negative beliefs surrounding money, despite hearing that old adage, "I'm not made of money" from my parents more than once growing up.

Money, like everything else in the Universe that we could possibly desire, has an energy and a frequency that we just need to tune into and get emotional about. If you feel that there's not enough of it to go around and that you will never have enough financial abundance to enjoy, then that's exactly what you're going to attract. But if you can feel good about the money you currently have, develop a relationship of sorts with money using your thoughts and emotions, and know that it's possible to attract it in ways that you cannot even conceive of, you're going to shift your energy and start seeing more of it show up in your life.

I've been practicing the law of attraction for eight years now, and I can honestly say in that time I've experienced a lot more money coming into my life, and much more frequently, then it did before I learned about the LOA. Part of that is due to being fortunate enough to live at home and save an awful lot of my income. But I now have money entering my life from a few streams of revenue that didn't exist eight years ago, and I've received a lot of unexpected money during that time, including a $12,000 pay raise at one job. And this month alone, I attracted a lot of "out of the blue" money that I didn't see coming. I've been keeping track of it in my journal, and plan to continue doing so with each new month.

So what have I been doing differently that I wasn't doing eight years ago? Here's some general LOA money tips that have worked for me.

Positive Affirmations

One of the first things I did when I learned about the LOA was I delved into writing, speaking, and most importantly -- believing -- positive affirmations, and that included quite a bit of ones about money. Affirmations such as, "I am a money magnet," "Money flows easily and effortlessly to me," and "I seem to attract money wherever I go" resulted in me finding a $20 bill on the floor of Lord & Taylor when there was no one else around one day, about three weeks after I started saying these affirmations on a regular basis. That to me was a huge sign from the Universe that these practices work. No doubt the new beliefs shifted my vibration and led me to find the $20 when I was least expecting it.

Viewing Money As A Good -- Not A Bad -- Thing

I'm sure we've all heard the saying, "Money is root of all evil" and probably at one time or another felt that very rich people are greedy and bad, and thus having a lot of money is sometimes seen as a negative thing. The truth is money is only "bad" if that's how you choose to see it. Yes, there are some  very greedy CEOs and rich people out there, but I believe that there's far more people that do good things with their money such as donating it to charities and other causes. Money has the power to do a lot of good in the world and help people (and animals) so that is how I choose to view it. I also decided that I was never going to feel guilty about having money in the bank and a few extra bills in my wallet. Why should we feel guilty about attracting something that we desire and enjoy?

Developing a Positive Relationship With Money

This goes along with my first tip, but something I've been doing lately is writing down affirmations in my journal that have to do with enjoying a positive "relationship" with money...statements such as, "Money pleasantly surprises and delights me," "Money is my friend," and "For every dollar I spend or donate, it comes back to me multiplied." And just as you would nurture an on-going relationship, I keep "nurturing" my relationship with money with these positive statements.

Appreciating The Money You Already Have

This goes along with the "attitude of gratitude" that's so prevalent with LOA teachings. I always give thanks for the money I have and the amounts I attract, even if they may seem trivial to most people. What you focus on is going to expand, and I believe by being appreciative of what you have saved and on-hand, you're focusing on it and sending the message to the Universe that you like this and welcome more of it into your life.

Keep Track Of Your "Out of the Blue" Money

As I mentioned above, something new that I've recently started doing is keeping track of all surprise or out of the blue money that's been coming my way this month. That includes receiving a discount on meals, as I enjoyed recently with a friend's museum membership, using a coupon, or when someone chips in for gas during a road trip. It all counts -- these things all have a monetary value. This month I received extra severance from my most recent employer that I was not expecting, and the horse race betting site gave me $2 on a notification spin, which I then grew to almost $15 before cashing it out. I've been keeping track of it all and so far it's all amounted to a few thousand dollars. That's not counting the amount I make from freelancing, although I am jotting down advertising revenue from my blogs if the amount surprised me on that day. Even if you come across a lost quarter on the street, write it down. I really believe by looking at what I've been attracting, I'm activating more feelings of continuously attracting "out of the blue" money.

Don't Rely On the Lottery Or Gambling; Know That Money Will Come In Surprise Ways

A lot of people, when they first learn about the LOA, immediately start asking how they can use it to manifest a huge lottery win. The truth is by thinking that the only way of attracting a large amount of money is through a lottery win, you're limiting the ways in which money can come to you.

And yes, I just mentioned up above that I won almost $15 earlier this month on horse racing -- but that was only when the site gave me free cash to bet with.  I stopped putting my own money into it a while ago because I lost quite a few hundred dollars doing so, and only visit a casino once a year. I figure if the Universe is going to give me money in that way, the site will give me a notification and if I lose it, at least I didn't lose my own money. I also only play the lottery if I get a strong urge to spend the $2.

When my mother first learned about LOA she too was convinced that the only way she was going to attract money was through the lottery, until I reminded her that it can come in ways she can't imagine. Shortly afterwards, she discovered nearly $2,000 in cash that my late father had stashed and hid in the basement.

Something else to consider is that most people that gamble are doing so out of desperation and negative feelings about money and their financial situation. I've seen it just reading the comments in the homepage chat box on the horse racing betting site. You can never attract money, at least not much of it, from a negative standpoint. It's really best to only gamble when you have a strong feeling that you should do it, or to simply get enjoyment from the entertainment value of it (and if the thought of losing money doing so doesn't bother you or conjure up negative feelings.)

Keep a $100 Bill In Your Wallet

Something that I did for a while, and plan on doing again soon, is keeping a $100 bill in my wallet. Just having that amount there -- if you can afford to take it from your savings and not spend it -- is going to make you feel abundant and rich every time you see it. That feeling of keeping $100 on hand is going to keep the vibration of money going.

There are lots of other creative ways of manifesting money, but these are just some of the ones that have worked for me. Stay positive, have fun, keep the vibration money high...and let me know of your own money manifesting success stories in the comments!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

How I Know Manifestation Lists Work

I know many people must scoff at me, even if secretly, when I mention the importance of making out a manifestation list. This is when you list qualities of what you would like in your ideal partner, job, home, or whatever else you wish to manifest. I can honestly say I came close with my ideal partner and job lists and will continue to focus on the qualities and what I want. I don't think there's any such thing as being too picky with a list because the Universe will know which qualities you're willing to give a pass on once that manifestation shows up. 

But I also have a story to tell that proves to me that these lists work, because I met someone once that had great success with her list. 

Years ago when I owned a Volkswagen Beetle (not a vintage one, but the re-released "New Beetle" that came out in 1998) I joined a New England club just for New Beetle owners. This was in the days before Meetup and similar sites; communication about events was accomplished via an email digest that would be sent out a few times a day. I signed up for and attended a dinner with other members at a Mexican restaurant, and I ended up hitting it with off with a friendly young woman that sat next to me named Lorraine. 

Lorraine was attending the dinner with her boyfriend (or maybe he was her husband; I can't remember) and they just seemed like the perfectly suited couple. Looks-wise and personality-wise, they complimented each other so well to me. Lorraine and I ended up exchanging personal email addresses and wrote each for a while after that event. 

As I was single at the time and feeling self-conscious and angst over it, our emails eventually gravitating to that topic. I told Lorraine what a great pair she and her boyfriend made, and asked how they met. I've never forgotten the advice she gave me, and am now suddenly after all of these years feeling appreciative of it and getting goosebumps in realizing how accurate she was. 

You have to remember this was several years before The Secret was published and not once did Lorraine mention the law of attraction to me, but she told me that she had actually written out a list of everything she wanted in a boyfriend/partner. Easily 100 items and she even specified that she wanted him to wear real pajamas to bed. Lorraine didn't want to have children, so she put that on her list, too (actually, the reason I dropped contact with her is because I thought she was a little strong-headed against parents that chose to have children and her messages were getting increasingly irate on that subject.) 

I honestly don't remember how she met her boyfriend, but I know it wasn't online--I think it had something to do with a vintage car meet. But she insisted that he met every single quality on her list, right down to the fact that he wore pajamas to bed!

At the time I didn't know what to make of it and chalked it up to her simply being an extremely lucky person. But years later, after hearing about people making out lists of what they want in a partner, job, home, etc. actually manifesting, I realized that Lorraine was absolutely spot-on and had been "doing The Secret" without knowing anything about it. 

She also told me at the time that there was absolutely nothing wrong with being single and that I shouldn't feel the least bit sorry or embarassed about it, but instead savor it. She said her sister, who was a model, was very beautiful but had very low self esteem and was dating and sleeping with every "loser" she came into contact with. Lorraine was hoping she'd just learn to be happy by herself for a while. She said the best thing I could do would be to enjoy life, cherish myself, and be happy until the right guy shows up. She was right!

I actually wish I could remember Lorraine's last name and look her up on Facebook, but this communication took place a good 15 years ago and like I said, we lost touch. It would be interesting to know if she's still with her "soulmate" partner that she conjured using a list. And unfortunately, I didn't really heed her advice until I started reading it in so many LOA books and remembered our exchanges. 

So here's to Lorraine...the LOA guru I knew years ago. I'm so grateful for the brief friendship and connection I had with her. I hope she is well wherever she is. Don't dismiss the magic of making out a list!

Saturday, September 17, 2016

When Nothing Feels Right, Take A Nap

I was having one of those days earlier...a day to honestly say, "I've had better days." So I took some advice that Abraham Hicks doles out in so many of their videos. I took a nap.

I feel into a pretty deep sleep (last night's sleep wasn't the greatest) and when I abruptly woke up, the first thought that came into my head was, "You have three more good friends in your life now then at this time last year." I have no idea where this thought came from or even if it was my own voice saying it in my head but I realized immediately that it was correct. (And it wasn't that I had been lamenting about not having anyone or anything in my life, but there it was.) I do indeed have three more good friends in my life then I did at this time last year...friends that I hang out with (as a matter of fact, I'm seeing two of them tonight) and that I can email and say what's on my mind at any time, and they're always supportive and non-judgmental. So, I gave appreciation...and then opened up my laptop to jot down this post. 

There's a reason why the AH teachings speak often about naps. It's one of the most fool-proof ways to stop negative thinking and emotions in their tracks, especially before the momentum picks up and snowballs, making you feel worse. When you're sleeping, or even if you're lying quietly and meditating, you've stopped any negative thoughts looping around in your head. Taking a nap is like having a brain fart -- albeit one that clears out all of the bad stuff. When you wake up, you have a clean slate again and you can stop yourself from feeling negative emotions and going down the wrong path. 

This is also why a lot of what I've been reading stresses the importance of getting off to a good start every morning when you wake up. Actually, a lot of lessons include starting at night right before you go to sleep -- being appreciate for anything good that happened during the day and anything that went right. Then it continues with being appreciative when you wake up. 

I realize that not everyone can nap during the average workweek (and I'm typing this on a weekend day) but maybe once in a while when you come home from work, if it's possible to take a 30 minute long or less nap or can even just meditate and clear your mind, I highly recommend it. Perhaps if our American society somehow allowed siestas during the work week, our world may be a less stressful place with a lot more happy people in it. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

What Is the Emotional Scale?

In my last blog post I said that I would talk a little about the Emotional Scale. I'm seeing and hearing a lot about it lately in LOA books and videos, because it's a tool that many find useful to improve their vibration and feelings on any given subject. The graphic above gives you an idea of what it is; namely, the scale of emotions that us humans are capable of feeling.

Why should we care about this scale and why are LOA teachers talking about it? Because as you can probably see, emotions that are on the lower end of the scale (sadness, depression, anger, etc.) are considered low vibrating emotions. Those at the high end of the scale (passion, joy, love, etc.) are high vibrating emotions. Obviously, we want to be spending much of our time at the higher points of the scale, the ones shaded in green. 

Our thoughts fuel our emotions and feelings. Therefore, no matter where we are at the lower end of the Emotional Scale, it's possible to reach for better feeling thoughts to help elevate us to the higher, more positive emotions. 

There are tons of graphics online representing the emotional scale, but the reason I chose the one above to post is because it's the first I've seen that points out where we have to be before we start to see manifestations of what we want appearing: Hopefulness. Move a little further up to Positive Expectation/Belief and your desire is about to manifest. Push yourself further emotionally into Enthusiasm, Passion, and/or Joy and you're now in the manifestation zone.

Something interesting to consider is that most of us, on any given day, usually live life in the Contentment or perhaps the Boredom zone. Just somewhere right along the border of feeling bad and feeling good. Which means it's quite easy to fall down the ladder into negative emotion and just as easy to climb up the ladder a few rungs into more positive emotions.

I interpret the emotions on the scale to represent how a person is feeling about their life in general, but you can use it to improve your feelings and beliefs on any given topic. The important thing I do keep reading about using the Emotional Scale is that you cannot realistically expect to make quantum leaps on it; a depressed person at the bottom of the scale is usually not going to jump to feeling joy and empowered overnight. In fact, it's impossible to make this "quantum leap" (as Melody Fletcher calls it) when someone is feeling despair because in that stage, joy is a foreign, unreachable emotion. 

But, what they can do is take baby steps in the right direction by reaching for better feeling thoughts. If you're jealous that other people have money and you don't feel so positive about money, you can reach for better feeling thoughts about money until you've worked yourself up to Pessimism.

I'd say that much of the time, I believe I'm in the Contentment emotional zone -- feeling OK/good but nothing spectacular. I have to do a little work some days (writing gratitude lists, focusing on things to appreciate, doing things that bring me pleasure) to move myself up to Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness. Writing about a topic I'm interested in definitely moves me up into a higher vibration, and that's when I'll pull out my journal and do a little pray rain journaling

So that's the scale in a nutshell. You can learn more about it and each emotional step along the ladder in the Abraham-Hicks book Ask and It Is Given.

Friday, September 9, 2016

What Is Pray Rain Journaling?

When my cat was missing (and we still don't have her back in the house yet, but we're getting close -- she foiled the have-a-hart trap we set last night because we didn't have it set properly) I mentioned that there was a new LOA technique I had tried that I believe quite possibly attracted her back to the yard. It's called pray rain journaling. 

What is pray rain journaling? The name comes from a story about Native Americans that were experiencing a severe drought. We don't know how long ago this took place, whether it was centuries or merely a few years ago, but the story claims that instead of praying "for" rain and doing a rain dance, a shaman simply "prayed rain." He stood in a field with his eyes closed and his arms outstretched, and imagined the feeling of rain falling on his face, the sound of it hitting the ground, and the sight of the crops being nourished by the water. 

The tale goes on to say that it didn't just rain, it poured. 

Thus, pray rain journaling is simply writing in a journal the way you want something to be...pretending that it is happening or already happened (living "as if") and feeling and experiencing the emotions that come up. With my cat, I just wrote a few paragraphs saying how happy and grateful I was to have her safely back in the house...that I loved patting her soft fur again and being greeted by her in the morning, among other things. I read my passage aloud, put the journal away, distracted myself with clips of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to keep my vibration high, and fifteen minutes later she was spotted on the back patio. 

So why pray something and not pray for it? Because praying for something means you're noticing and are focused on the absence of it. With pray rain journaling, you're putting it in the present, pretending it has already happened, and focusing on its presence, not the absence.

Since then I've been pray rain journaling for money (and also using another technique I discovered online, which I'll mention in another post.) It's working...I ended up with a jump in blog advertising revenue because the traffic spiked on my other blog when Mashable and Reddit mentioned my site and linked to a post I did five years ago. Last weekend I saved money on a museum visit because one of my friends is a member and had a guest pass plus a discount on food. Then yesterday the race horsing website notified me that I a free bet spin, and I managed to turn the $2 I won into $15 before cashing it out. 

I also think there's something powerful about writing the words down, by hand, in a journal. I feel it slows the process down and you really get to absorb each sentence as you're putting pen to paper. I've been writing in the journal every day and I seriously plan on using it and the pray rain journaling technique for all areas of my life now. 

My only word of advice when doing this is that it yields the best effects when your vibration is fairly high and you're feeling good, without any resistance or negative feelings. It's best to do this when you're feeling good, and inspired to write. Otherwise, the best you can do is use the journal to feel better about where you currently are and try to move up the emotional scale. What's the emotional scale? I'll explain more in my next post!

Saturday, September 3, 2016

What You Need To Do FIRST Before Attempting To Manifest Anything

Since my last post, I have a really great update on Dolly -- she was spotted in our yard last night, and has been eating the food left for her in the porch! Just fifteen minutes before my mother saw her I had tried a law of attraction manifesting technique that I'd never done before, and needless to say I was blown away by the sign. When she's back in our house for good I'll share what that was and what I did to attract her back, but for today's post I wanted to write about something that I've finally learned about the law of attraction (that I believe was the key to attracting her back to the yard.)

So many law of attraction books that I have read pretty much say, "Think the thoughts and feel the feelings and you will attract what you want." That is correct to a degree, but those instructions are missing something that just doesn't get mentioned much in most LOA books, except for the ones by Abraham-Hicks (and in fact, what I'm about to tell you is pretty much at the CORE of their teachings.)

What's the missing tip? You need to get happy first, plain and simple. You need to get to feeling REALLY great and flying high emotionally. Abraham-Hicks refers to it as "getting on your high flying disc." I know that sounds weird and really woo-woo New Agey, but they are absolutely correct because that is where I was yesterday, and the day before.

I've been thinking of it in this way: if you're in a crappy mood, and you try to manifest something, you're sending out a radio signal to the universe that's full of static, interruptions, and interference. The universe can't receive your signal when it's boggled down by negative thoughts and feelings.

But when you're feeling pretty good and your resistance has evaporated and you intend something from the universe, now you're sending out a strong signal that is made up of pure, positive energy. Now the universe is going to hear that energy loud and clear and it's going to more easily set things in motion to orchestrate the manifestation for you.

The best way to get onto the high flying disc is to try to start your day on the right foot as much as possible.

Yesterday when I woke up, before I even got out of bed, I immediately started appreciating as much as I could...the bed I was in, the soft pillow beneath my head, the beautiful house I live in and the safe, suburban neighborhood that it's located in.

I appreciated my slippers, my robe, and my coffee and breakfast. The night before, I had made out a gratitude list in my journal of ten things that I was truly grateful for and felt the feelings.

I washed up and put on makeup even though I wasn't planning on going anywhere. I just liked the way it made me felt, and I intended to do everything that I could that was going to make me feel good and happy. I worked on some articles for my freelance job, and I did some knitting, and I listened to a ton of videos by a guy on YouTube whose channel I discovered the other day, all about his personal experiences with the law of attraction and the techniques he uses. Most of his videos are about the importance of getting to that good feeling place and making sure he feels great every day, before he even attempts to manifest.

So that's what I did. I didn't need any conditions in my life to change -- all was well. And all day long, I "felt" Dolly in the house. I decided not to worry about where she was or anything that may or may not be happening to her. I felt her rubbing on me, "saw" her in her cat condo watching birds from the window, and "heard" her squeaky little meow when she's waiting for her food. I felt the way I feel when she greets me in the morning or when I come home after venturing out. I had zero negativity and resistance all day.

After doing the exercise I said I would talk about in another post, I then read out loud what I wrote, and put the journal away. I watched clips from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (because it's my favorite childhood movie and I loved Gene Wilder, who just passed away this week.) I knew it would continue to help me feel good and also take my mind off of the cat. Fifteen minutes later, my mother was calling Dolly's name and said she saw her on our patio. 

Of course, you're not going to feel great every day, and every minute of the day, but that's OK. You can just work on moving in the direction of feeling better, and don't bother trying to manifest anything until you are in a really good place. It's all about tending to how you feel and maintaining it when you can. 

Thursday, September 1, 2016

The Loss of a Pet

If there's one thing I know for certain in this punching bag called life, it's that it can change in a heartbeat. Last Friday, one our of indoor-only cats escaped the house and hasn't returned. All weekend long, I received calls, emails, and texts from friends with the best of intentions..."Could someone have found her and brought her to a shelter?" "Maybe you should call the local vets' offices and find out if anyone brought her in." "Put signs up all over the neighborhood." "Tell your neighbors to check their sheds, garages, and basements." 

Everyone meant well, but sadly, they don't know my cat. Even though she lived indoors for the past four years, she was still very much what I consider feral. She was truly petrified of any human other than my mother or me. The minute she heard a vehicle pull into our driveway, she'd be in my room and under my bed's goose down comforter in a flash. Even the veterinarian's assistant couldn't handle her up when we took her in for her initial shots and to be spayed; she had to be picked up by the scruff of her neck, like mother cats do. 

Putting up signs wouldn't do any good; I've seen this cat in action when she's terrified. My guess is she panicked outside and ran and ran and ran. She could be towns away by now for all I know. We leave the porch door open for her every night and have placed her bed and blanket (which she so dearly loved) as well as a bowl of dried food out there for her.

I was heartbroken for the first 48 hours and then decided to approach this from a law of attraction standpoint...instead of worrying about the dozen or so ways she could die, I imagined how it would feel to have her back in the house. I pictured waking up and being greeted by her again outside my door, cuddling on the couch with her, and watching her romp around the living room and play. I felt the relief my mother and I would both feel having her safely back home. To me, worrying and crying over her was not going to help her or myself. The best thing I could do is let go and let God and have faith she'd be guided somehow to find her way back. 

But now she's been gone a whole week and I have to admit, I'm heartbroken all over again. "Doing 'The Secret'" in this case does not seem to be working. And frankly, deep down I believe she did not survive her first night outside. I had an eerie dream the first night of her disappearance where she came up on the bed with me and I suddenly woke up, in the same exact position in my bed as in the dream, but obviously with no cat. And then I heard a pack of coyotes howling in the golf course nearby. 

I take loss very hard. One minute, I had a guy emailing me saying that he'd never known anyone like me before...the next, he was telling me he could no longer have any contact with me. One minute, I had a full-time job after two years of unemployment. The next, I was being told it was being eliminated (although I did get over that loss fairly quickly.)

I don't get it. Right now I'm just threading water...focusing on what I do still have in my life...and feeling grateful. I guess it's just a given that certain people and things are not meant to be in your life long term. And they always says there's a lesson to be learned...well, I don't know what the lesson was in losing my cat Dolly. I was always grateful for her, cherished her, and loved her to pieces....and she surely didn't deserve this. I think of parents that have suddenly lost a child and can only imagine the pain they must go through. 

I guess the only thing to focus on right now is the fact that if something bad can happen instantly, then something good can happen that quickly, too. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Changing Negative Beliefs From Childhood For Good, Part 2

Yesterday I admitted to still having some deep seeded, lingering beliefs and doubts about relationships and men that I traced back to my childhood. Twenty four hours later I'm happy to report that I think I'm well on my way to kicking these beliefs in the butt. I think the fact that I was willing to admit to them in the first place and identify their source was a really important step in the right direction. 

I also admit that I was a bit of a crybaby yesterday, literally. I think that was a good thing to do -- as I see no reason why we should deny our emotions, or when something is bothering us. I've heard it said in the Abraham Hicks teachings that crying is your body's way of releasing resistance, so I let the tears flow. It's cathartic, and sometimes you need to do it so you can begin the clearing process. 

I also started reading the book Unsinkable: How to Bounce Back Quickly When Life Knocks You Down by Sonia Ricotti (maybe I'll post a review of it here when I'm done.) It's a great read and it's making me feel better, as many of the "lessons" she takes us through in it are serving as strong reminders about why I'm my own worst enemy. 

Here is what I've come to realize/remember that is helping to dissolve my old beliefs:

The Past Is Over, and Cannot Be Changed
Childhood and the teen years are over (thank God) as is yesterday and every other day before that one. The past cannot be relived or changed, but that also means (as I wrote about a month or so ago) it really cannot affect our present unless we allow it to. We have to accept it and move on because there really is no other choice. And just because something happened years ago does not mean we are doomed to repeat and relive it. Yes, the boys in junior high may not have found me attractive and cool back then, but those are exactly the compliments I've received from guys in recent years. 

I am also not the same person that I was years ago. Despite sounding on the sad side yesterday, I do have way more confidence today than I did years ago, as well as fashion and make-up sense. 

Compared to Other Kids That Were Bullied, I Didn't Have It That Bad
I'm putting things in perspective here -- compared to bullying horror stories I've read about through the years, it could have been much worse. Also, I wasn't molested or raped. From what I remember, no one put their hands on me other than pulling the glasses off my face. I also wasn't the only kid that was ever bullied or treated unfairly. That doesn't make it right, but there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone and the only person it ever happened to. 

I Forgive Everyone That Hurt My Self Esteem In Some Way
The funny thing is, I did forgive everyone involved a couple of years ago. I remember a couple of days later, in work, walking around feeling really physically lighter as if a weight had been lifted off of me. No resistance to anything whatsoever. And then the following day I was informed that I was being laid off! (Which I still think was meant to happen.) Forgiveness is still the only way to get past the pain once and for all -- it's knowing that the past couldn't have been any different, as Oprah Winfrey has said. Also, I am sure most of the kids involved have no recollection of doing anything "wrong" to me or anybody else. Clearly, there was some reason why they felt the need to hurt another person. That doesn't make what they did OK, but it does help me find closure.  

Beliefs Are Not Scientifically Proved Facts
As I mentioned in my last post, beliefs are not facts. Facts have been proven by scientific research; beliefs just feel that way to the person carrying them around. They also seem to get reinforced when your mood is low, as mine was a bit yesterday. They can changed -- and even discarded. 

Tomorrow I think that I am going to conduct a negative/limiting belief destroying ritual. Some people write down their limiting beliefs and then burn them. (I don't think I want to risk playing with fire, but I do have a paper shredder at my disposal...this is going to be fun.) 

Monday, August 22, 2016

Changing Negative Beliefs From Childhood For Good, Part 1

I have read that many of the issues and negative beliefs that adults carry around with them have their origins in their childhood, and I believe it. If there's one thing I wish I had known growing up, it's the law of attraction. It might have saved me a lot of grief. Unfortunately, the notion that your thoughts and feelings could affect your life is not something that was well known at all during the 1970s and '80s, when I came of age. I was raised Catholic, and I'm sure if The Secret had been published 30 or 40 years ago, it would have been frowned upon and dismissed as cult-like beliefs. The New Age movement was something that seemed a little scary to me at the time. Despite these stigmas, Dr. Wayne Dyer published his first book on how thoughts can affect your life, Your Erroneous Zones, in 1976 but it wasn't until a few years ago after the release of The Secret that I even knew who he was. 

Nonetheless, better late than never as the old saying goes. I know that all of my beliefs around men, love, and relationships have their roots in my childhood and I'm sad to say, they're not very positive or helpful ones. It's a weird thing, because I have zero negative beliefs when it comes to money, my weight/body image, and the new career direction I'm moving into. Even though my father could be a little stingy when delegating part of the paycheck to my mother for groceries and other necessities, I never felt that we were wanting more money and if I did hear that saying, "Money doesn't grow on trees" it never affected me in a negative way. As a result, I feel good today when I think about money and attracting it, and I always feel like there's enough of it for everybody. 

Same with my body. I grew up tall and thin and have stayed that way, and maybe that's why I have zero body issues and rarely, if ever, criticize any part of it. I do like my body and my looks and I take care of both. 

But...the opposite sex? Dating? Love? Marriage? I still have all kinds of issues in these areas (I'm actually tearing up a bit as I type this paragraph, which goes to show you how affected I am by it all.) The fact that I fell for a man online last year that had EVERYTHING I wanted and actually was deeply attracted to me back...EXCEPT for the fact that he isn't single and eligible/available hasn't helped me improve my beliefs up to this point all that much, despite what I've written on here during the past year. Although I did forgive him, I still have moments where that whole head-shaking scenario still gets to me a little bit.

I haven't had a date in years (yes, I'm being raw and honest.) The last few times I did online dating, I wanted to vomit. It was so bad. We're talking being hit on by a blind guy looking for a chauffeur that asked me numerous questions about my hair, and a couple that was looking to add a third wheel to their relationship (it was the woman that reached out to me, making it even weirder.) I went out with a guy that was much shorter in person than what was stated in his profile, plus he used photos that were definitely at least ten years old. And he had diarrhea of the mouth so bad, he ended up only asking me one question about myself during the whole time. 

I gave up on online dating and did the LOA thing full force, and focused on myself and my life. Then I attracted Mr. S and for months afterwards my beliefs and positivity that I worked so hard to build up took a gut punch. 

I know that I have a problem, and I know where it comes from. And I want to change it. I know I can change it. I know this is possible and it has worked for other people. 

It comes from my childhood. 

For starters, two of my siblings are divorced. My oldest sister remarried; my brother never did. I was a kid when both of these divorces took place and they were nasty. I think my brother went through a worse situation than my sister did; I seem to remember hers becoming final much sooner and with a little less drama. 

As a kid witnessing all this and overhearing one side of the phone conversations between a sibling and their soon-to-be ex-spouse, filled with insults and expletives, there's no doubt some of this affected my perceptions of love, marriage, and relationships. 

My father was funny, literally. He brushed off the ending of both marriages by joking that "the good ship lollipop capsized." (My dad was very funny at times.) Maybe that was his way of protecting me and not making a huge deal out of the life changes. But nonetheless, I kind of grew up thinking that life-long love was no guarantee and that you couldn't always trust the other person in the relationship. 

(Today, however, I realize that both my sister and brother made very poor choices. My sister's first husband gambled and used cocaine. My brother married a very flirtatious woman that loved male attention, and when she got breast cancer my brother wasn't always there for her. She ended up turning to other men.) 

But my negative beliefs were also being formed in school. I was bullied -- by both girls and boys. I wore glasses, I looked like Amy Carter, I was a quiet kid that did her homework, and I had a funny voice so I guess I was an easy target. I have since read a lot of articles as to why children bully other kids. Mostly it's because they are the ones with the issue -- their parents are divorced or going through one, they have low self-esteem or learning issues and they're jealous of the kids in the class that seem to have what they do not. In fact, looking back I realized that many of the boys in my classes that gave me a hard time were the ones with the worst grades that were constantly being sent to the principle's office and going to detention. 

I remember one time in elementary school, my best friend at the time wanted to tell me something in secret, so she took me behind the classroom door. When the other girls in the class saw us behind the door, they started to call us lesbians. My friend got so upset she started to cry. Another time some of the popular girls pretended to like her and invited her to play games during recess. I was very suspicious of their behavior, which was out of character for them and did not participate. Then they stabbed my friend in the back by pretending to be her friend and then kicking her out of their little clique.

(This same friend, by the way, dumped me for no reason when we entered junior high, other than saying she wanted to "branch out." I think she was influenced by the time by the popular kids telling her I wasn't cool enough to be friends with. Nonetheless, I ended up falling in with a lovely bunch of girls that I still see in person on occasion today, and we're connected on Facebook as well, of course.)

I don't really get kids and why some of them have to act this way. I can only imagine it must be far worse today in the Internet age, where everyone is on Facebook. 

And junior high? Forget it. I still remember the day I was walking up the stairs, wearing an ESPRIT miniskirt that I was proud of. I had an awful perm at the time and huge glasses, but I was trying. Two older boys with long hair (we called them "band guys" as they were wanna be Jon Bon Jovis at that time) were going in the other direction. One of them said to the other loud enough on purpose so that I would hear it, "I hate it when ugly girls try to be sexy." 

I ignored them, but I never forget those words. 

I never dated in junior high or high school. At the junior high dance, the guy I had a crush on got visibly very uncomfortable when I asked him if I'd like to dance withe me. He reluctantly obliged but his date -- one of the "popular" girls (who was homely and had an acne problem) pointed and laughed at us during the entire song. (For the record, the song was "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship. To this day I flip the station when it comes on the radio.)

This is an incident that happened 30 freaking years ago. Thirty! And yet, as you can see, in some way it still bothers me, or I wouldn't be writing about it.  

As a result, to this day sometimes, a small part of me still thinks the same thoughts that I had 30 years ago. Namely, that, there's something wrong with me. I'm not attractive. I can't have a guy that I think is attractive, as he won't want me back. That I'm not worthy in some way. There's no good men out there anyway that are available. They're all taken and married. I'm in my 40s and it's too late for me to find a soulmate. Guys can't be trusted -- they're mean and all they do is break your heart. I can't attract a "cool" guy -- he wouldn't want me. And...if I were really all that, someone would have found me and married me a long time ago. There must be something wrong with me if I'm single. I've also heard other people say to me, "It's because you are pretty that you're single. Guys are intimidated by you and afraid of rejection -- so they tend to ask out women that they know won't turn them down."

I could go on and so on. I also remember some of my high school girlfriends having bad experiences with guys which only reinforced my growing beliefs at that time that males couldn't be trusted. 

It's awful and it's ugly. I thought I had put most if not all of these feelings to bed years ago. But today, honestly, this is how I am feeling. I'm letting it all bubble to the surface right here on this blog. I'm not writing all of this to feel like a victim, by the way, or because I'm seeking sympathy. I'm writing it because I want to change it. 

I'm going to end this post for now, and write part two during the week when I'm feeling a little better about it. For now, I think acknowledging these beliefs and recognizing where they came from is an important first step in the right direction. And one thing I do know for sure: a belief is NOT a fact. Facts have been proven by scientific proof. A belief cannot be proven. Beliefs are malleable and only feel true for the person carrying them around. 

I'm tired of feeling this way, and I'm tired of feeling held back in this area of my life, and I know deep down in my heart that these beliefs are not true and I know I can change them. I'm a child of God -- there's no way I can somehow be unworthy of my desires. 

Today, I'm setting a powerful intention: This week, I intend to defeat my negative beliefs around men, love, and relationships and kick them to the curb once and for all. I intend to heal this area of my life and let the sadness and darkness of it be replaced with light and love.

More to come. 

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