Sunday, February 28, 2016

Are Your Music Choices Helping or Hurting You When It Comes to the Law of Attraction?

I have found in recent years that you have to be really careful what kind of music you choose to listen to, because there's an awful lot of momentum in songs that can get the wrong emotions flowing. A song can pull you out of the doldrums, or it can plunge you into despair. Since the law of attraction responds a lot to your emotions and overall feelings, I tend to think to that in order to get past a heartache, it may not be the best idea to listen to sad songs about failed relationships and broken hearts, as it keeps those feelings flowing. It's a much better idea to focus on neutral songs that uplift you and eventually -- when you're ready to open yourself up to love again -- love songs, especially those about commitment and long lasting love, and feel the feelings that they evoke in you.

One of the things I did on my last job was listen to a "soulmate song list" that I had stored on a now-defunct website called Grooveshark (which was a lot like Spotify, but simpler to use in my opinion.) It was mostly made up of love songs and a few that were just plain feel-good tracks. It's something I plan on creating and listening to again during the day once my new company expands into the office space next door to them and I get a desk or cubicle of my own. Off the top of my head, some of the songs I had on this playlist included Chicago's "Love Me Tomorrow", "My Kind of Lover" by Billy Squier, "(Where Do I Begin?) Love Story" by Shirley Bassey, "Your Love is King" by Sade and even "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera.

I do think a person's music choices says a lot about them and when I look back on people that I've known there definitely is a correlation between their personality and view on life and their taste in music. I guess it shouldn't be surprising that people I knew that struggled with depression tended to be fans of musicians that wrote songs that generally were bummers to listen to. 

There's been numerous studies conducted about how music creates chemical changes in the brain, so it only makes sense that listening to the right music is going to have an adverse effect on your mood. It's a wonderful, flexible tool to have at our disposal and help things keep moving in the right direction as far as the law of attraction is concerned, so keep the right music playing!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

How Would A Soulmate Make You Feel?

Before I launch into this post, I just wanted to give an update on how the new job is going for me. I'm only three days into it, but it's going well. Today I wrapped up writing a "script" for a corporate video they're going to be shooting in Uruguay at one of their farms and I've started to map out a social media strategy for them. The place is really laid-back and quiet. People are pretty much unmonitored and I think it works, because everyone seems to get their work done. It really looks like my core working hours most of the time are going to be nine to five, and that is just amazing to me!

I also did have a small law of attraction manifestation today on the job, but I'm going to save that for another post. Today I want to talk about soulmate lists, and something that I recently read about that helped me clarify further what I really want. 

I know a lot of people don't approve of "lists"...but I think when it comes to the law of attraction, it works far better if you do get specific. Of course, there is such a thing as being too picky and specific, but fortunately I think the universe knows which "nice to have" items on your list can be excluded without making you disappointed or unhappy. 

Most people are going to put the basics on their list first; their soulmate's age range, physical qualities, where they live, hobbies, etc. There's nothing wrong with that, but it is important to also think about and include how this person would make you feel. Because getting into that feeling mode and practicing it is how you activate the vibration of being in a relationship and therefore attracting exactly what you desire. 

Even I know I needed a little assistance with this. I have some qualities on my list that relate to behavior and how he would make me feel, but then I read the following list that Arielle Ford (she's the author of The Soulmate Secret, a book I mentioned a month or so ago) put on her own blog, and I thought it was perfect and a lot more comprehensive. 

I must confess some of her items weren't really on my radar, even though I know my inner being was screaming "yes!" when I read these. I have to locate my list tucked away somewhere on my laptop and add these. (These came, by the way, from a blog post she wrote called "Is He the One? (Or Still the One?)"

  • You have been in a committed relationship for at least one year, have met his family and friends and he has met yours, and you both love each other.

  • You and your soulmate share chemistry, compatibility, great communication skills (these can be learned, but if possible, learn them BEFORE the wedding) and most importantly, a shared vision for the future (kids, lifestyle, etc.).

  • You don’t have to do everything together (and shouldn’t), but you must decide ahead of time that you each have space and support for the other’s passions.

And then look at their behavior:

  • Can you count on them to keep you physically and emotionally safe?
  • When you are stressed out, hurt, or ill, do they provide concern and assistance?
  • When you share your thoughts, feelings and worries, do they listen and respond with compassion, empathy and care?
  • Do you trust them and can you count on them to keep their word?
  • Do they want to spend time with you and do they make future plans?
  • Do they celebrate your wins in life and hold your hands in the down times?
  • Are they financially responsible?
  • Is their happiness as important to you as your own?
Here's what I'm going to do...I'm going to read through this list every day if I can and take that moment to feel what it be like to have a partner that does all this (in addition to knowing we're attracted to each other physically and all of that other stuff.) 

Happy list making!

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Why Do People Settle?

Several years ago I became friends with a coworker that told me on the phone one evening that she believed, when it came to love, relationships, and marriage, that "everyone settles." She felt that it was particularly true for women, saying that as a single woman gets older the pool of available men shrinks and it becomes increasingly difficult to find someone that is dateable and desirable that checks all of your boxes to fall madly in love with. 

This was still a few years away from when I learned about the law of attraction, but I should point out that looking back on it now, her opinions on dating and men were rather pessimistic. She once tried the matchmaking company Lunchdates -- not from a place of inspired action, but from one of desperation, which is never a good place to take action from. She ended up spending thousands of dollars on the service only to get matched up with a guy that had the complete polar opposite of her political views, a doctor that refused to pay for their dinner bill, and a private school professor that lived in one of the student dorms. I lost touch with her after she moved to Chicago, but I should point out that she did meet someone out there and got married, so maybe she was able to change her thoughts of lack. Or, perhaps...she settled! 

But back to the phone conversation we had that night, when I heard her say that, I made a silent decision to myself. Come hell or high water, no way was I going to settle, especially when it came to being with the right man for me. I decided that until he came my way, at least I was going to enjoy being single and do some growing as an individual. 

She was incorrect that everyone settles, but it is true that when it comes to choosing a partner to spend a lifetime with, some people do settle. I remember a woman in my Meetup group that told us about a guy she knew that wasn't crazy about the girl he was dating...however, he didn't want to spend his life alone and was afraid he wouldn't do better, so he was going to propose to her anyway. It's sad to hear about situations like that, but it happens. One of my high school friends was involved with a guy from another country that got extremely jealous at her birthday party one year (of which I was one of the guests and slept over her place afterwards.) My friend invited a few platonic male friends to her party, and a group of us were dancing together. Just as we were falling asleep later that night, he awoke us with his call and started referring to her male guests as "gringos." He also regularly verbally abused her and my friend acted as his chauffeur because he didn't have a driver's license. Did I mention that she confessed to me that the sex wasn't that good?

Yet, she stayed with him for a few years too long...and admitted sadly to me one day that she believed she "wasn't going to do any better." 

So why do people settle? Is it because they really are powerless and at the whims of fate and the universe? No. 

Not long ago I was listening to a podcast on this very topic by a law of attraction guru I follow, Melody Fletcher. Melody was being interviewed by a radio station and she had the perfect answer as to why people settle. It isn't that they can't do any better. It's because they don't believe that they can do any better. They do not believe that they can attract what they really want. For whatever reason. It could come from a feeling of lack, fear, and/or unworthiness. 

During the two years I've been unemployed (which officially ends tomorrow -- yay!) I knew that I didn't want to settle for any available job just to have the paycheck. I knew exactly the type of work I wanted to do every day that would excite me, the type of company environment, and that the product or service they were selling was going to be one I could get excited about and see a lot of creative opportunity with. I'll admit that there were a couple of times I felt like throwing in the towel, and calling up a temp agency just so I could be doing anything to have money coming in. There was also one job I interviewed for that I really wanted at the time and was disappointed when I was turned down for it. In retrospect, though, I'm awfully glad it didn't work out. It was a copywriter job that entailed writing the same type of marketing promotions day in and day out, and I think I would have gotten awfully bored with it. Plus, the company has since received several negative reviews online from its employees. 

Last month, when I really started to believe that I wasn't going to settle and believed that what I wanted was out there was when everything just came together. And now that this new job presented itself with everything I've wanted, I believe that I can get what I want in the right guy, too. 

I won't settle...and best of all, I know I don't have to. 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Why I Don't Believe in Psychics

Last summer, before a lot of the caca I've written about here hit the fan, I paid for a phone consultation with a psychic. I don't know why I felt compelled to get a reading, except to say I think perhaps instead of relying on the universe to know that everything would turn out alright that I needed to hear that validation from another human being that somehow had "magic" powers. I knew I made a mistake when the psychic called me the morning of our scheduled reading, in tears, saying she was dealing with allergies and had to reschedule our appointment because she knew she wouldn't be able to give me a proper reading. Then she rescheduled it again because she realized she double booked me with someone else's time slot. 

I should mention that I've never received an accurate reading or any prediction that came true from a psychic. As it turned out, this lady was no exception. She really couldn't tell me much...and it was only when I asked her about romantic relationships later in the phone conversation that she said I was going to get involved with a man probably in November that traveled a lot for business and also drank just as much. Uh -- nope. I would not date a heavy drinker and whoever this lush is, I obviously didn't meet him and am thankful I didn't! 

She also became fixated on my brother, and said there was going to be a major health concern coming up and that the whole family was going to rally around him. Well, it's possible she was seeing my mother there, who did end up having triple bypass surgery in late July. My brother did have a minor health "worry" at the time which turned out to be nothing. 

She said she saw a male spirit around me that had a combover. LOL -- my father didn't comb over his hair and I don't know of anyone else in my family or that I was close to that passed that did. 

She also predicted that I would be focusing on freelance work and any job I did take would be part-time to supplement the at-home work. She kept saying there was going to be a LOT of freelance work coming up. That never happened, either. In fact, the company I do freelance work for on the side recently told me I had to drop the amount of time I've been doing work for them down a bit. 

Needless to say, after hanging up and realizing my $55 could have been better spent on something that would have brought me pleasure, I vowed never to contact another psychic again. Do I think that all psychics are shysters? No. I am sure that there are some really talented, reputable psychics out there that do regularly make accurate predictions for people. I just haven't encountered one and do feel that the majority of them can't quite read me for whatever reason or they are, indeed, just making stuff up as they go along. 

Considering everything that has happened to me between June and now, I'd say at least some of your life isn't pre-determined by fate, but by faith. Maybe you can't control everything that happens to you in life, but you can control how your react to it and set new intentions. 

Living life by the law of attraction makes yourself your own psychic. If you believe your future is going to be bright, it will. And knowing that is better than any money you could ever waste on a reading. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

How I Manifested a J-O-B

Well, I have some pretty incredible news to share. I got a job! The job I interviewed for that I was so excited about. It still hasn't sunk in yet (except for the crying I did earlier because I am so happy) but I'll be working as a social media manager for an organic meat company that is poised for growth this year and wants to start introducing its products to consumers. One part of me can't believe it's actually happened. The other part of me is saying, "Hey girl, of COURSE it did -- because YOU created it with your thoughts and beliefs!"

The most remarkable thing is that it happened SO fast...that's what happens when you become a vibrational match to what you really want. I had a phone interview last Monday, then an in-person interview on Thursday, and was offered the job today, Tuesday. 

The job and the company really does have everything that was on my "list." Some time ago, not long after I was laid off, I made a typed list (which I then carried around in my head) of the most important qualities I wanted the company and job to have. I wanted the position to involve a lot of writing about a topic that is interesting and important to me, I wanted the company I worked for to be making a product or service that I understand and find easy to promote, I wanted the commute to be a half hour or less, and I wanted my coworkers to be well adjusted, friendly people that I enjoy working with. 

Well, time will probably tell on the last item listed there, but all of the other checkmarks were met...and the commute time is actually shorter; about 20 minutes on the backroads and 15 on the highway if traffic behaves. Salary is good and includes a generous annual bonus...and the health insurance is 100% paid for by the company. 

Did I mention that I can also take home the products from the office fridge for cost?

I'm going to mention some law of attraction techniques that I feel helped me land the job, in addition to the list I made. First of all, when the new year began I really put it in me that I was going to get a job. "THIS is the year I am getting a job" is what I repeated to myself nearly every single day. And I believed it. 

Second, I stopped short changing myself and my accomplishments. I mentioned in another blog post how I don't pay attention to the competition, especially when I'm interviewing -- and that is true. However, in the past when I read a job description and was applying for it there was still this weird feeling in me of not quite being good enough...thinking, oh I'm really not that qualified on this point and that point, and I eventually figured out that I was really undermining myself. Last month I decided there was going to be none of that anymore, and decided to really focus on my achievements. So maybe I've never been promoted to a manager title or had anyone reporting to me at any of my previous jobs, but I knew I was qualified for the title -- and all of the chasing up I did of people (including my boss) at my last job to make sure projects were done on time is, to me, managing people. I also managed our presence at a trade show from start to finish, and I had accomplished a lot for the company I freelance for, including improving their SEO and seeing our followers get increasingly engaged with our page and more excited about our products. I'm also a great writer, I kept telling myself. I pretty much adopted this internal "winner" attitude and just had to believe in it and in myself. 

Thirdly, there's an affirmation/mantra that I've adopted that has been serving me well the past few months: "Things are always working out for me." Actually, I've tweaked it to, "EVERYthing is working out for me." I think that sounds more inclusive, don't you think? I'll write more about it in another post soon, but I've already had two instances where things DID work out delightfully for me. 

Back to my list. I know a lot of people don't believe in them; they tend to think people that make lists of qualities that they want in a job, partner, house, etc. is being picky and unrealistic. Well, I have to tell you...never once did I doubt that about my list. I knew that the universe could surprise and deliver and show me something that I never knew existed before. This company has been in operation for 11 years now...but I've never heard of them nor read anything about them in a business journal (and I read one online, as well as the local paper.) I found out the job on Craigslist -- a site that has a less than stellar reputation. But I knew the company was legit because they posted their name. It was the jobs that were very cryptic that I never applied to, no matter how much potential they had. 

Lastly, I was thinking about and feeling money lately...a lot. How would it feel to get off an individual health insurance plan and not have to pay that every month (I really can't wait to write that last $350 monthly check to Blue Cross Blue Shield.) How would it feel to have money going regularly into my savings account again? How would it feel to have the freedom to buy a new blouse, or go out with my Meetup group more often? How would it feel to be able to take a trip once in a while? feels good. Really awesome, in fact. It finally happened, folks, after two years of being unemployed from permanent, full-time work. I'm seriously taking the lessons learned from this one along with everything else I've been posting about and apply it towards manifesting the man of my dreams. 

I think tomorrow, a trip to the mall with the Macy's gift certificate I received for Christmas from one of my sisters is in order. :)

Saturday, February 13, 2016

This Valentine's Day, Love the One You're With (Especially If It's Yourself)

It's God's honest truth when I say that I'm perfectly happy being single this Valentine's Day. While other couples are going to be absolutely freezing their kiesters going out to dinner as the coldest air of the season descends upon the U.S., I'm going to stay cozy and warm indoors watching Downton Abbey.

OK...maybe I'm not being completely honest. I'll admit that it can suck being single on this day. For a lot of people that do not have a romantic partner this time of year, Valentine's Day can make you feel left out and like there's something wrong with you.

Well, that's simply not true...and here's my advice for staying positive this Valentine's Day, if you're single or otherwise unattached: like the old Stephen Sills song goes, if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with. And the one you're with 24/7 is yourself.

Last night I received the latest email from Lana Shlafer; I mentioned her some time ago, as she does a lovely meditation that I like to listen to most nights before falling asleep. Her email message described an actual wedding ceremony that she participated in a few years before meeting her husband. Who did she marry? Herself.

I admit the whole thing sounded really weird, and it was done at a New Age center run by one of the contributing authors of The Secret. All of the participants even picked out a wedding band for themselves! However, the intention behind it was certainly good. She (and several other people) made a commitment to always love themselves and put themselves first. Lana says she had experienced several failed relationships prior to the self-marriage ceremony and she finally realized that no amount of flowers, gifts, and cards from men she was dating was ever going to convince her that she was worthy and lovable until she decided to realize it for herself.

So here's what you can do this Valentine's Day if you're single...first of all, stay off of Facebook, be your own Valentine, and treat yourself this weekend. Indulge in some chocolate, hang out with friends, watch a movie, give yourself a facial, etc. Maybe an actual ceremony is too much, but making a promise to yourself to put yourself first and honor yourself isn't.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

What A Difference A Day Makes

Was there something in the air today? It was good news day in my family. One of my sisters, who works in retail, got a promotion that will equate to an extra $100 per week in her paycheck. One of my nieces also got an after class job in the hospital where she's taking special surgical training. 

And I had a job interview with the company I've been pretty excited about for the past couple of weeks. The CEO actually wanted to meet with me a day earlier, and as a result one of the questions caught me a bit off-guard because of the shorter preparation time. However, I think I redeemed myself after I thought about the question after the interview, and I expanded on it when I emailed my thank you message. I know I did my best and I have to continue to live in the present moment until they make their decision, which probably won't be until next week. The past couple of months, I have really been feeling -- not just thinking -- what the ideal job would be like and also stopped selling myself short and thinking that other candidates have better qualifications than I do. Tomorrow I have some freelance articles to work on, so that will put myself back to focusing on the present and feeling good no matter what happens. 

I was also given a 50 cent free bet on the horse racing site I mentioned a few weeks ago, and used it to bet on five dime bets. I got one of them right so I won back $5.80, and then I won another dollar on the next bet after that. Then I cashed out my $6.80 winnings (woo hoo!) and was pretty grateful that I attracted that amount of money. 

All day long today, I kept seeing repeating/recurring 444 and 777 on license plates on cars in front of me, and lots of 2s and 3s in the page view tally for my other blog. I plan on blogging about repeating numbers in another post, because I do believe they are considered signs...if nothing else, signs that you're relaxed and letting the universe do its job. 

I hope to keep this positive momentum going. I'm just happy and grateful that things are turning around for my family after a trying 2015. 

Saturday, February 6, 2016

How To Change A Negative Belief

I think I may have talked about beliefs in a previous blog post or two, but in case I haven't, here is how a lot of law of attraction teachers and coaches define a belief: it's a general acceptance that a statement is true, or that something exists. It's also something that has become ingrained in us over time, usually reinforced by repeated thoughts and words. You can think of a belief like a law of attraction affirmation on steroids. Those thoughts and words are often our own but not always...your parents, for example, may have repeated something to you throughout your childhood about money (for example, "Money doesn't grow on trees, you know") and therefore over time you may have developed a belief that money is scarce, that you'll never have enough, and that you have to work real hard and bend over backwards to get ahead.

Beliefs can be good or bad for us, and it's usually the negative ones that can be pesky buggers that follow us around through life, but there is some good news. A belief can be changed. It's something that I've been reading about a lot lately and have only started putting into practice for myself recently. And when it comes to negative, limiting beliefs, it definitely is a good idea to work on changing them. Just keep in mind that it usually doesn't happen overnight...but in time, with enough reminders to yourself and soothing, I believe they absolutely can be changed.

Although I've come a long way, I'm aware that I still carry around some negative beliefs when it comes to love and relationships. One limiting belief that I was able to change a few months back was that as long as I live at home I'm not dating material. Oddly enough, most people that have a negative personal belief about themselves (such as "I'm too old" or "I'm too overweight to be loved") often have the hardest time changing it. For me, personally, this one was rather easy for me to kick to the curb, and that was because the only real evidence I had supporting it in my history was meeting one jerk years ago that had a problem with women that lived with their parents. That, and I remember a coworker many years ago chastising another grown coworker behind her back for living at home, saying that in doing so she was "still a child." But who gives cares what these people think, especially so many years later? Once I accepted it and realized that, hey, there's no law that says a woman living in her parents' home is undateable, that belief pretty much disintegrated.  

However, there was another relationship belief I had to put more work into changing, and that was the belief that all of the good ones (by ones I mean men) are taken (as in married or already have a girlfriend.) And the reason I found this one so difficult to budge was because I had been receiving a lot more evidence of it pretty much my entire life, as every guy that showed up that I hit it off with already had a girlfriend or worse, was married.

It was also a statement that I heard repeated from friends and family members through the years, and even in pop culture when it would show up in various sitcoms and in movies. It got reinforced every time I heard about a friend's dating horror story or relationship problem. It got reinforced further with my own crummy dating experiences, and then meeting men at singles and Meetup events that were...well, very socially awkward, rude, arrogant, physically unattractive or any combination of undesirable qualities in a partner. I am sure that it was carrying it around and vibrating it for so long that caused so many situations to be mirrored back at me that matched that belief. 

I knew I wanted to change this belief because I wanted to believe the opposite to be true -- that not all of the good ones are taken, and that there is still someone out there meant for me that is a great match. 

So here's what I did to start to flip this belief on its head. Every law of attraction teacher seems to have their own technique for changing limiting beliefs, so my personal process below may not resonate with everyone, but it is pretty close to what I've been reading about in various sources.

1. Identify Your Limiting Belief, and Write It Down

Expose that nasty belief like you're putting a spotlight on it. Writing it down, I think, is the first step towards confronting it and maybe even realizing how potentially silly/untrue it is once you see the words. In this case, as I said, it was "all of the good ones are already taken."

2. Ask Yourself, Is It True?

This step requires a bit of logic, but I'll let you in on a short cut to this step: the answer is no, your negative belief isn't necessarily true. Just forget about any evidence that may have led you to the limiting belief in the first place, because what you've experienced up until this point was showing you just a tiny slice of all of the possibilities in the universe. Is it really a fact that all good men are taken? In order for me to know for certain, I'd have to personally interview every single/divorced/available, straight man in an appropriate age range in the U.S. and talk to their families and friends to access if they're a catch for me or the right woman. Of course, that's impossible for me to do so. While we don't know the exact number, there are millions of them! Also, what I may consider a catch other women may not. So I'm going to take a guess here...although we don't really know the answer for certain, I am pretty sure with millions of single, divorced, and widowed men on the planet at least some of them have to catches and still available.

Also, there was something else I thought of a few months ago that helped me change this belief. Not all of the men that are taken are what you can consider catches. Some of them are bad. How many stories have we heard in the news about women getting mixed up with or marrying men that commit crimes, some of them quite violent? People marry all types of people. Therefore, that tells me that while married/matched people are made up of a mix of good and bad individuals, the same can be said of single people.

3. Write Down the New Belief, and Look For Evidence to Support It

I wrote my new, opposite belief down which is, "There are some really good available men out there, and there is one available for me."

Then I started to think about all of the evidence I'd experienced or seen that would support it. For starters, a few weeks ago I talked about browsing the engagement and wedding section of the New York Times and reading the stories behind the ways the featured couples met. I know, I know, those people aren't exactly available anymore; they're engaged or married. But just a few years ago, they were available and they met each other. There were a few stories I read about couples meeting while already in relationships but then reconnecting years later when they both found themselves single. There was one story I read about a self-confirmed bachelor that met the love of his life while in his late 50s and married her. And here's the thing...if there are no longer any "good ones" around, then people wouldn't be getting married. The supply, so to speak, would be gone!

I also remembered the young woman from my Meetup group that brought her then-boyfriend (now husband) to one of my events. They had just started dating after meeting on He was so...normal. Completely normal! Loved his family, had a great job, and was very easy to talk to. Obviously he was a "good one" still available when the member from my group met him. 

Then there's the U.S. census report I found discussing the numbers of unmarried and divorced people in the country. The numbers and percentages were mind numbing, but they didn't matter. What does matter is that these demographics are in the millions, and I am sure not all of them are partnered with somebody. 

Divorces still occur, as do break-ups on a daily basis. Right now, a soulmate of yours could be breaking up with somebody in an out-of-state city and planning on relocating to your area. It's entirely possible. The pool of available people changes daily, as does the pool of unavailable people. 

I also have decided to filter out any chatter (usually delivered to me by other women at my Meetup events) about how tough it is out there in the dating world or about how awful the men are. I want to focus on the success stories. In fact, I know of one woman in my group that is older than I am who met her current boyfriend at a contra dance event last year and is doing very well. She tried online dating and nothing panned out for her, but contra dancing is one of her favorite hobbies, and I'm happy it's working out for her. 

4. Rinse and Repeat As Needed

Like I said, often a negative belief won't change overnight, especially one you've been carrying around since practically childhood. Sometimes it takes repeating the process and just having patience and being easy on yourself. 

And another thing to keep in mind -- this is just one of the limiting beliefs I have around dating and relationships. I have a couple more that I need to work on changing, which is usually the case when it comes to manifesting "bigger" dreams. 

What are some limiting beliefs that you would like to work on and change?

Monday, February 1, 2016

The Truth About Soulmates

Until I learned about the law of attraction, the word "soulmate" always seemed to me like something that only existed in fairytales. I wanted to believe that I had a soulmate, but I felt that only the truly special and/or lucky people would find theirs in their lifetime. This seemed to get cemented in my belief system for a while when I attended a memorial service while in my 20s for a friend that passed away. I overheard one woman at the entrance that knew him and his girlfriend saying to someone else, "They were truly soulmates. They were so lucky they found each other. Not everyone is."

I remember thinking at that moment (not knowing anything about the LOA at the time) "Oh s***, what if I'm one of the unlucky ones, then? What if I never find my soulmate? That hardly seems fair!"

Furthermore, I thought a soulmate was someone that would cross their path with yours only once during your entire life. One shot; that's it. If you screw it up, too bad -- you messed up your one chance at romantic happiness, and you're never finding it, ever again.

What a relief it was to finally learn, years later, that all of those old beliefs about soulmates are just a big bunch of bahooey.

The book that changed my mind and beliefs about soulmates and opened my eyes on the true definition of one was "The Soulmate Secret" by Arielle Ford. For anyone looking to attract a partner and romantic love using the LOA, I highly recommend this book. Ford used everything she knew about the law of attraction (which had helped her build her business) to attract her now-husband of several years into her life and became a first-time bride at age 44.

First, here is how Ford defines a soulmate, which I think is a pretty spot-on description: "A soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep and profound connection and feel that you can completely be yourself. Someone you love unconditionally, and who loves you unconditionally, and when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being 'at home'."

That certainly could describe a life partner, but as Ford points out in her book, a soulmate does not necessarily have to be a lover. A soulmate can be a friend, family member, coworker, or even a beloved pet. I thought it was really interesting to look at the term in that light, and it totally makes sense. I have a good friend that I share email correspondence with on a daily basis, and we have always felt comfortable to be completely frank with one another both on email and in person. We can totally be ourselves and I would definitely consider her a soulmate.

But the other thing that I learned about soulmates from Ford, and this is a big one to me, is that there's no such thing as only one romantic soulmate per person, per lifetime. Whew! What a revelation this was to me when I first read it. "I don't know who started the awful rumor that we only get one big love in one lifetime but it's simply not true!" she says. "There is a possibility for many soulmates in a lifetime and chances are you already have several in your life."

In the book, Ford talks about her widowed mother-in-law that attracted a second husband, as well as several people that found love after divorce or a breakup after applying the techniques in "The Soulmate Secret."

So many times, when we connect with someone, we start to think that they are "the one." Sometimes they do turn out to be the one, and sometimes they don't. When they don't, it's helpful to remember Ford's advice that there are many people out there, that we haven't met yet, that we can feel that soulmate connection with. Abraham Hicks refers to it as soul clusters, and there isn't just one person that's an ideal match for someone. It all goes back, too, to thinking about the world in terms of abundance and knowing that there's enough for everyone. 

Here's a great little interview with Ford about soulmates and some of the teachings from her book.

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