"All men cheat."
"All men are liars."
"All men are dogs."
"If given the chance, a man will cheat--even if he's happy with his relationship."
"All women are gold diggers."
"Women will only date men that are good looking, tall, and rich."
How many times have you heard someone say one of these statements? Maybe you have said them yourself?
One of the women that came to a recent Meetup event I hosted said numbers 1, 2, and 4 above about men. She even stated that "98% of the men online cheat"! I wanted to ask her how she arrived at that exact figure. Did she date 100 men and catch 98 of them cheating on her?
Clearly her beliefs are not serving her best interests. Because if your whole mantra is to go around stating that all men are creeps and cheat, then it become a self fulfilling prophesy. You're going to attract men that cheat on you, or you're going to keep hearing stories from others that validate your belief.
She has been divorced for a while, and tried online dating, and said she won't do it again. I'm sure she has some bad experiences that led her to reach these conclusions, and now she's stuck on them like a song in repeat mode.
I wanted to tell her that she was full of shit. But since I know better by now, I let her statements go in one ear and out the other, as if my mind were a filter that filtered out her beliefs. I refused to let what she was saying have any influence on my own beliefs. Just because one person is making such claims doesn't mean it's true for everybody.
Do I think that some men cheat? Yes. I don't think anyone can deny that. However -- some women cheat, too. I've heard stories from men about it, and it's just as painful for them as it is for women that get cheated on. So I don't think it's fair to place all men and all women into the same category.
I know of at least three guys -- all former coworkers of mine -- that I am absolutely certain are 100% devoted to their wives. If I could bet money on it, I would. In fact, one of them was posting photos of him and his wife on the Cape on Facebook over Memorial Day weekend. Another hires a babysitter and regularly takes his wife out for dinner and shares the photos on Facebook. He's always tagging her in his posts and conversations. The third guy actually had his vasectomy reversed after he married his second wife because she wanted a baby. If that isn't devotion and selflessness, then I don't know what is (and from what I understand, it's not an easy procedure to go through, and the recovery is pretty painful.)
But maybe that's because I've been working on a belief that most men are devoted? Therefore, I'll see evidence alluding to that. That's what I choose to believe. And I choose to believe there is a great guy out there that will be devoted to me, too.
The problem with beliefs is they're very hard to change. I struggled with this myself and am still cleaning up my vibration in a few areas. I wrote about a step-by-step process on how to change a belief a few months back, which is similar to what how many law of attraction books have approached the subject.
The other day, however, I watched a great little video by a law of attraction teacher named Shelly Bullard. I can't share it here only because it's part of an online course of hers that I purchased on using the law of attraction to manifest the right partner, and there's no way to embed it, but it was all about negative beliefs. Shelly said there's an easy way to start to move a negative belief in a more positive direction. All you have to do is look at the opposite of the belief and ask yourself, "Is it possible?"
For example, if you have a lot of resistance around relationships and you're doubting that one can even exist for you, you can ask yourself deep down if attracting a relationship is at least, technically, possible for you. 99.9% of the time, you're going to hear yourself saying that it is.
Is it possible that there are men that are devoted in relationships? Yes. Is it possible that attractive, eligible men exist that want a relationship? Yes. Is it possible to meet one? Yes.
I personally believe that anything is possible, no matter how far fetched it may seem.
This practice may not change a deep belief overnight, but it is at least a step in a better direction. And with practice, it will grow your faith and eventually allow you to shed beliefs that no longer serve you.
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