Thursday, June 30, 2016

New Friends


Today's blog post is a few paragraphs of gratitude, for two new friends I now have in my life. When I was out of work my social life slowed down to a crawl, mainly because I felt I wasn't in a position to be spending a lot of money on going out to eat and other social functions. Now that I'm working again, I've slowly been ramping up the events with the two Meetup groups I run; my original plus another I took over late last year when the first organizer stepped down.

I've been meeting members, and having a great time, but something was missing: a few close friendships with women that I could plan something with outside of a Meetup event once in a while. I mentioned in a previous post that I did have this once, and screwed it up, but decided I had to forgive myself and move on. I have a few friends that I hang out with one-on-one, but the connection and chemistry so to speak isn't always 100% there (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

But last Friday night I hung out with two great gals after work. One has been to several of my events and I've slowly been getting to know her better; the other had been to two events and is a law of attraction junkie like myself. And we had a great time. We could all talk to each other about various subjects -- the topic even ventured into politics at one point with everyone accepting one another's opinions and there's been no judging or anything else that would strain a relationship. In fact, we ended the evening with a group hug in the restaurant's parking lot -- LOL! Maybe the slight alcohol buzz contributed somewhat to that, who knows, but we had a great time and plan on doing it again soon.

This also comes at a time when I'm finding ways to appreciate being single, much the same way I eventually found ways to appreciate the time I was unemployed. 

I can't say I did anything in particular to manifest a couple of nice new friends. I simply did the usual -- I had faith that I would hit it off again with new people, and kept reassuring myself that I was still a good person despite my past mistakes (which I've learned from) and had a lot to offer as a friend. And from time to time I'd take a moment to feel what it would feel like to have a couple of new valuable friendships that would grow and last a lifetime. I didn't worry and didn't stress about it; I just assumed it would happen when I wasn't expecting it. And it did. (Now I just gotta keep reminding myself of all this when manifesting an awesome boyfriend.)

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Hooked On A Feeling: Why Thinking About Something Is Not Enough To Make It Manifest


It's time for a law of attraction pop quiz! True or false: just thinking about something will make it manifest in your life. If you answered "true" then I'm sorry -- that is incorrect -- but not to worry, because I'm going to tell you what you're doing wrong. It's a mistake that a lot of people make and what I believe often causes them to say, "this stuff doesn't work" and then give up on it.  I like to think that what I'm about to talk about is the "secret" behind "The Secret"...the one important part of the book that people tend to overlook. 

You see, a lot of people -- and this included myself when I first learned about this stuff -- think that simply thinking about what they want is how the LOA works. However, the Universe doesn't respond simply to your thoughts. It responds to your feelings and emotions.

There's a difference between the two, and it's a pretty big one.

You can think about something all day long until your brain goes numb. But if you're not feeling any feelings or emotion surrounding the thing you want, you're probably not going to have much success.

I like to think of simply thinking thoughts as a brain experience. But when I feel emotions or feelings, it becomes a body experience. I feel it in my heart (and when it comes to thinking of a soulmate I often, ahem, feel it in other body parts, too) -- and that causes my vibration and energy to rise and become a match  to what I want.

And if you're having a hard time digging up the emotions that your desire stirs, then all you have to do is ask yourself why you want a particular desire. Let's say you want some moolah -- maybe a few thousands dollars to pay off some debt and buy yourself something nice. Well, just ask yourself what that feels like to have extra money. You'd probably be excited and maybe even relieved. You can imagine how good it feels to pay off some bills and still have plenty left over for yourself to put into your savings account or buy something for yourself or a loved one. Feeling these scenarios are going to set off emotions in your heart -- which is going to make you a vibration to extra money.

Every time I've listened to an Abraham Hicks video where a "hot seater" has a question about manifesting something, it almost always includes Abraham asking them to describe what it feels like to have their desire here and now. There's a reason for it -- it gets them feeling good, it gets them focused, and it raises their vibration so that they can become a match to their desire.

How often should you be tapping into the feelings and emotions behind your desire? Personally, I think it should be done every day -- or at least, as often as possible. You don't have to spend a ton of time at it, by the way. Even just setting aside a few minutes, before you go to bed or when you first wake up in the morning, is enough to keep that ball rolling.

If you get down or doubtful, don't give up. Just make it a daily habit to tap back into that wonderful feeling of your desire.

Of course, you also need to believe in your desire and that you can have it. And you need to give up the need to control the outcome, and be grateful for what you do have in your life. But putting emotions and feelings to your desire is a huge step in getting the ball rolling. 

When it comes to taking a few moments every day to raise my vibration for a partner, there's a few things that create those feelings and emotions in me. Of course I imagine being loved and cherished, and returning it, and feeling that in my heart. But as one of my dreams is to buy a home with a partner, I feel the security and relief of making such an important decision with someone I can trust by my side. I imagine how much easier it is to look at houses together and deal with the bank and all of the agents involved with someone special to get through it together. 

I think about taking road trips with him (it's another dream of mine to see more of the U.S., little by little, with the love of my life.) I think about getting to know his children, if he has any, and his family. I think about how available and eligible he is and how our timing to meet and come together is perfect for both of us. 

I know I just said I think about these things, but I'm not just thinking...I'm feeling them internally. 

Then I let them go, and I get on with living and enjoying each day (that's another key to getting what you want -- learning how to love your life no matter what; savoring the waiting.)

So the next time you're tempted to just think about something you want, go deeper. Fantasize and uncover those feelings. Get yourself hooked on a feeling, as the old '60s song tells us to do. 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

When the Universe Says "No", There's A Reason For It


How many times has this happened to you?

You didn't get the job you thought you wanted.

You didn't get the potential boyfriend or girlfriend you thought you wanted.

You didn't get the house you thought you wanted. 

When the Universe tells you "no" it can feel like a door slamming in your face. For those of us that practice the law of attraction, getting that slammed door when we believe we manifested something (or someone), can feel even worse. 

I've experienced the first two scenarios above (and I'm sure will probably experience number three when the time is right to buy a home.) They sucked. But usually when something falls through and you don't get what you want, particularly the first time, there's a good reason for it. 

Being denied something when you think you attracted what you want can make feel like a bratty little child. "But I want that!" And yet, the Universe, like a wise parent, knows better for you. 

And it's almost always because the Universe has something even better in store for you. Why be content settling for less than what you really want when you can have something better?

It's also because your true inner vibration wasn't a perfect match to what manifested in the first place. I went through this a few times when job hunting. I interviewed for positions that were close to what I ultimately wanted, and each interview moved me closer to narrowing down exactly what I wanted and what I knew would make me happy. 

There was one job that wasn't perfect but I still wanted it. It would have involved a lot of copywriting for a travel company. I was very disappointed that I didn't get the offer. But looking back, I can see that I would have got bored in the job fairly quickly. Not only that, but the company had numerous negative reviews on Glassdoor.com. Neither of which were qualities that I wanted in a job...who does?

I've said it before on here, but it bears repeating: I'm so happy it didn't work out. I'm so happy I ended up in a job with a company that resonates so much better with me. 

I had to believe that the universe knew that I deserved better. 

Plus, this is where believing in abundance comes in. You have to believe there's an abundance of jobs (no matter what the media or friends tell you) and that there's one right for you. 

Same goes with the man situation. I wrote on here about the married guy I attracted. The Universe knows that I deserve so much better than that. But more than that, I know that I deserve better. My vibration and feelings are different and stronger than they were a year ago, when that thing started. These days I keep reminding myself that I'm available. I'm eligible. Therefore the least that I deserve is someone who's eligible and available, too. I deserve someone that can call me, email me, and make plans with me anytime he likes. It's a non-negotiable deal breaker and bare minimum requirement for me now. 

Also, considering I never met this guy in person -- only spoke to him on the phone and over email -- I have NO idea whether we really, truly, would have hit it off in person. There may be things about him that might have ultimately drove me crazy, and vice versa. 

I'd rather be single than be with less than what I know I deserve. And I'm sure when I manifest Mr. Wonderful I'm going to be so flipping happy and grateful that it didn't work out with anyone else. In fact, I've been using that feeling to get into the feeling/manifesting mode of what this relationship feels like. (I'm going to blog about feelings and why they, and not simply thinking thoughts, actually cause something to manifest in my next post.)

So when the Universe says "no", say, "yes" to its decision and accept it. Because it means something better is on its way. 

Friday, June 17, 2016

Can You Change Your Voice Using the Law of Attraction?


I'm just going to lay this on the table and get it out of my system: if there's one thing that I could change about myself, it would be my voice. 

Right now, as things stand, I really do not like the sound of my voice. It's difficult for me to describe what it sounds like, so I will tell you this: a customer service rep once told me, in the middle of taking an order over the phone, that I sounded exactly like Fran Drescher of The Nanny.

I hated that show and I hated that lady's voice. It was worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. For the record, I actually don't think I sound quite as annoying as the nanny. But it is nasally and it is distinctive. And when I hear it come on the answering machine or have to record an outgoing message for voicemail, I cringe. 

When I was young the other kids in school used to make fun out of it. "Why do you have such a weird voice?" one girl asked me one day. I didn't know what to say. 

I've always wanted a deeper, sexier voice. Something like when Lauren Bacall asked Humphrey Bogart if he knew how to whistle: "You just put your lips together and blow." Or to be able to coo like Kathleen Turner as Jessica Rabbit, "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."

The other issue is I've been told from time to time that I tend to talk on the loud side. Well, when you live with an elderly mother that would not hear a bomb go off without her hearing aids (and I am NOT exaggerating about the extent of her hearing loss) that'll do it to you. In fact, all of my siblings suffer from the same "big mouth" syndrome. 

So what to do about it? Well, I'm not suggesting that I believe the using the law of attraction is going to magically make my voice transform overnight. But speaking of Lauren Bacall, I was surprised to recently learn that she did, in fact, change her voice from a shrill and unpleasant one to the deeper and huskier one that made her famous in the movies. Director and producer Howard Hawks reportedly worked with Bacall for two weeks on vocal training to transform it. I have started to read articles and watch videos myself about what you can do to lower the pitch of your speaking voice and make it sound deeper and sexier. I am trying to be more mindful about the volume of my voice when out of the house and talk a little slower as well. 

I'm also grateful that it isn't worse. I could sound like Edith Bunker or Gracie Allen. So, I have that going for me. 

And the other thing I'm doing is simply trying to love this part of myself, even though right now I'm not that crazy about it. I don't have a choice but to make peace with it. Quite a few of the videos and exercises I've watched in this online "course" I bought for attracting a love relationship revolve around loving and accepting all parts of yourself, including your perceived flaws. I keep reading that your soulmate will love all of you, even the part that you consider your "fatal" flaw. My voice is definitely a unique part of me. 

From fatal to femme fatale...that is my goal, anyway. 

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Why I Don't Believe In Coincidences


This morning I went out to brunch with my Meetup group, and was delighted to discover that one of my members that I've met once before is a law of attraction devotee like myself. We both got excited when we learned we shared this interest -- she's read some of the same books that I have, and even listens to CDs by Louise Hay in her car. 

I also think we were both excited because there is a tendency to feel that non-believers look at law of attraction people like we're a little kooky, or belong to some cult (I can assure you that the LOA is NOT a cult, just a spiritual belief system that's been proven to work for thousands of years now, with its roots in the Bible.) I'm not bashing or criticizing skeptics; I used to be one myself until I watched an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show (of which Louise Hay was a guest) and decided I had nothing to lose by at least giving it a try. 

I did tell this woman in my group, however, that the one thing my non-believer friends and acquaintances always say to me when I tell them that I manifested something cool is that it is just a coincidence. They won't even give me credit for attracting a job that has everything I wanted going for it and then some; they think I just got lucky and fell into it. 

My group's member shook her head and confirmed what I vehemently believed all along: "No, it is absolutely not a coincidence. The Universe is always listening and responding to what you are putting out there." 

The thing is, I've managed to attract way too many cool things in my life by now to chalk it up to luck or coincidence. I definitely don't think it's a coincidence that I managed to land the right job, cure my psoriasis, find fun ways of making extra money, get the dentist that I wanted, make new friends, and get out of jury duty after only two hours. The one glitch has been attracting a married guy, but considering he had everything I wanted in a man, I'm feeling pretty confident again that I'll get what I want in someone that's actually eligible. 

Those are the "bigger" manifestations. There's also been hundreds of "smaller" ones through the years, from finding the perfect parking space to hearing songs on the radio I've been wanting to hear. 

I told the woman in my group that just last week, I heard two consecutive songs on the radio in my car while driving to work that I had thought about in passing the night before. And that they were really obscure ones. As soon as the first one ended on the 60s on 6 channel on Sirius, I flipped to another station on my presets called Groove and the second song started to play from the beginning. I definitely don't consider that a coincidence. 

I've met or come into contact with lots of people during the past several years that don't believe in the law of attraction. That's their choice and I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince them otherwise. All I know is it has worked for me and is making an enormous difference in my life. And right now I'm grateful that I've found another individual that does believe in it, so it'll be fun to swap stories with her at the next get-together. 

I'm going to end this post with a snippet from another blog I like to follow by Melody Fletcher. This particular post goes into more detail about coincidences and the LOA. In response to a reader's question about coincidence, Melody responds with, "There are truly no coincidences, not in the sense that things just happen randomly, or by chance. Everything that happens is due to the Law of Attraction bringing together matching energy. This is happening whether or not we're aware of it, which is why events can sometimes seem random. But they're not."

Yep.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Limiting Beliefs - And How To Change Them With Two Simple Words


"All men cheat."
"All men are liars."
"All men are dogs."
"If given the chance, a man will cheat--even if he's happy with his relationship."
"All women are gold diggers."
"Women will only date men that are good looking, tall, and rich."

How many times have you heard someone say one of these statements? Maybe you have said them yourself?

One of the women that came to a recent Meetup event I hosted said numbers 1, 2, and 4 above about men. She even stated that "98% of the men online cheat"! I wanted to ask her how she arrived at that exact figure. Did she date 100 men and catch 98 of them cheating on her?

Clearly her beliefs are not serving her best interests. Because if your whole mantra is to go around stating that all men are creeps and cheat, then it become a self fulfilling prophesy. You're going to attract men that cheat on you, or you're going to keep hearing stories from others that validate your belief.

She has been divorced for a while, and tried online dating, and said she won't do it again. I'm sure she has some bad experiences that led her to reach these conclusions, and now she's stuck on them like a song in repeat mode.

I wanted to tell her that she was full of shit. But since I know better by now, I let her statements go in one ear and out the other, as if my mind were a filter that filtered out her beliefs. I refused to let what she was saying have any influence on my own beliefs. Just because one person is making such claims doesn't mean it's true for everybody.

Do I think that some men cheat? Yes. I don't think anyone can deny that. However -- some women cheat, too. I've heard stories from men about it, and it's just as painful for them as it is for women that get cheated on. So I don't think it's fair to place all men and all women into the same category.

I know of at least three guys -- all former coworkers of mine -- that I am absolutely certain are 100% devoted to their wives. If I could bet money on it, I would. In fact, one of them was posting photos of him and his wife on the Cape on Facebook over Memorial Day weekend. Another hires a babysitter and regularly takes his wife out for dinner and shares the photos on Facebook. He's always tagging her in his posts and conversations. The third guy actually had his vasectomy reversed after he married his second wife because she wanted a baby. If that isn't devotion and selflessness, then I don't know what is (and from what I understand, it's not an easy procedure to go through, and the recovery is pretty painful.)

But maybe that's because I've been working on a belief that most men are devoted? Therefore, I'll see evidence alluding to that. That's what I choose to believe. And I choose to believe there is a great guy out there that will be devoted to me, too.

The problem with beliefs is they're very hard to change. I struggled with this myself and am still cleaning up my vibration in a few areas. I wrote about a step-by-step process on how to change a belief a few months back, which is similar to what how many law of attraction books have approached the subject.

The other day, however, I watched a great little video by a law of attraction teacher named Shelly Bullard. I can't share it here only because it's part of an online course of hers that I purchased on using the law of attraction to manifest the right partner, and there's no way to embed it, but it was all about negative beliefs. Shelly said there's an easy way to start to move a negative belief in a more positive direction. All you have to do is look at the opposite of the belief and ask yourself, "Is it possible?"

For example, if you have a lot of resistance around relationships and you're doubting that one can even exist for you, you can ask yourself deep down if attracting a relationship is at least, technically, possible for you. 99.9% of the time, you're going to hear yourself saying that it is. 

Is it possible that there are men that are devoted in relationships? Yes. Is it possible that attractive, eligible men exist that want a relationship? Yes. Is it possible to meet one? Yes.

I personally believe that anything is possible, no matter how far fetched it may seem. 

This practice may not change a deep belief overnight, but it is at least a step in a better direction. And with practice, it will grow your faith and eventually allow you to shed beliefs that no longer serve you. 

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