Monday, February 1, 2016

The Truth About Soulmates


Until I learned about the law of attraction, the word "soulmate" always seemed to me like something that only existed in fairytales. I wanted to believe that I had a soulmate, but I felt that only the truly special and/or lucky people would find theirs in their lifetime. This seemed to get cemented in my belief system for a while when I attended a memorial service while in my 20s for a friend that passed away. I overheard one woman at the entrance that knew him and his girlfriend saying to someone else, "They were truly soulmates. They were so lucky they found each other. Not everyone is."

I remember thinking at that moment (not knowing anything about the LOA at the time) "Oh s***, what if I'm one of the unlucky ones, then? What if I never find my soulmate? That hardly seems fair!"

Furthermore, I thought a soulmate was someone that would cross their path with yours only once during your entire life. One shot; that's it. If you screw it up, too bad -- you messed up your one chance at romantic happiness, and you're never finding it, ever again.

What a relief it was to finally learn, years later, that all of those old beliefs about soulmates are just a big bunch of bahooey.

The book that changed my mind and beliefs about soulmates and opened my eyes on the true definition of one was "The Soulmate Secret" by Arielle Ford. For anyone looking to attract a partner and romantic love using the LOA, I highly recommend this book. Ford used everything she knew about the law of attraction (which had helped her build her business) to attract her now-husband of several years into her life and became a first-time bride at age 44.

First, here is how Ford defines a soulmate, which I think is a pretty spot-on description: "A soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep and profound connection and feel that you can completely be yourself. Someone you love unconditionally, and who loves you unconditionally, and when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being 'at home'."

That certainly could describe a life partner, but as Ford points out in her book, a soulmate does not necessarily have to be a lover. A soulmate can be a friend, family member, coworker, or even a beloved pet. I thought it was really interesting to look at the term in that light, and it totally makes sense. I have a good friend that I share email correspondence with on a daily basis, and we have always felt comfortable to be completely frank with one another both on email and in person. We can totally be ourselves and I would definitely consider her a soulmate.

But the other thing that I learned about soulmates from Ford, and this is a big one to me, is that there's no such thing as only one romantic soulmate per person, per lifetime. Whew! What a revelation this was to me when I first read it. "I don't know who started the awful rumor that we only get one big love in one lifetime but it's simply not true!" she says. "There is a possibility for many soulmates in a lifetime and chances are you already have several in your life."

In the book, Ford talks about her widowed mother-in-law that attracted a second husband, as well as several people that found love after divorce or a breakup after applying the techniques in "The Soulmate Secret."

So many times, when we connect with someone, we start to think that they are "the one." Sometimes they do turn out to be the one, and sometimes they don't. When they don't, it's helpful to remember Ford's advice that there are many people out there, that we haven't met yet, that we can feel that soulmate connection with. Abraham Hicks refers to it as soul clusters, and there isn't just one person that's an ideal match for someone. It all goes back, too, to thinking about the world in terms of abundance and knowing that there's enough for everyone. 

Here's a great little interview with Ford about soulmates and some of the teachings from her book.

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