Like many people that have tried online dating, I've had my share of disappointments and first date horror stories. I've been approached online by creepy guys, weird guys, married guys, guys who couldn't write a coherent sentence to save their life, a blind guy seeking a chauffeur, polyamorous couples looking to add a third wheel to their relationship, etc. I went out with a guy once that stuttered (something not disclosed in his profile) that got worse as the date went on -- as did his affinity for looking at other women. I went out with another one that was late showing up for the date and then proceeded to talk about himself for three hours straight, only asking one question of me the entire night. I could go on and on.
But that's all in the past. Although I'm not feeling the nudge from the universe to try online dating again -- at least not right now -- I have found that browsing Match.com (you can search for and view profiles for free) is helping affirm for me that guys with qualities that I like exist. If you're a single person that has lost faith or you don't have a clear picture of exactly what it is that you're looking for, looking at profiles online can be a really helpful exercise.
It's actually a tip I learned about a couple of months ago from a dating coach's site that I stumbled upon. She instructs her clients to browse dating sites for a few weeks, and just mentally pick out qualities they like in the profiles they see. According to her, very often after a 30 day period or so, her clients will meet someone to date that has a lot of the qualities they're seeking and many of them end up meeting that person offline. It's because they've been attracting and carrying around in their sub-conscious the very qualities in a partner that they like, by feeling the emotion that each quality gives to them.
And you don't have to contact anyone while doing this exercise if you don't want to. You just have to browse for the fun of it.
Just this morning I emailed a friend and said, "I still haven't given up hope of meeting somebody completely available and over any previous relationships but who is also normal, attractive, and a good match...but man, sometimes it's hard."
The universe clearly heard me and decided to give me a sign, because today I signed into Match.com and did a quick search. One attractive guy on the first page of search results caught my eye, I clicked on it, and I liked a lot of things about his profile.
He was divorced and the father of a little girl that he shared custody with. His profile was concise but really revealed a lot about the kind of guy he is and furthermore, it was very well-written with no typos or grammatical mistakes! He also said he definitely wanted an actual relationship; that he was not posting a profile for one-night stands or casual dating. His description also stated that he wanted to meet a woman that was in shape and liked to exercise, like him.
I nodded to myself and was thinking, "me likey." I affirmed that I really like all of these qualities in a potential partner. I'm still not quite ready to put myself online again yet, but this confirmed for me that there are available, attractive, normal men out there that actually want a real relationship, and are not using online sites to look for sex.
I read that during this exercise, if you do come across profiles that you really don't like to not make a big deal out of it and just click off of them and look for one that does resonate.
It may be interesting to try the exercise for 30 days as suggested and see what happens. Although I believe -- as I've previously said -- that it's up to the universe to deliver your desire to you in the best way, I'll be open to trying online dating if it feels right and like "inspired action" to me. In the meantime, just seeing men online that look nice and have qualities that I want is definitely helping to boost my confidence and belief in the relationship area.
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